Our whole selves

If we break a leg, we have a broken leg, but then how does a broken leg constitute us being broken? We’re broken, well not in the true sense of the word. I’m not sure I agree with the analogy that we ‘are broken.’ We get to call the shots on how we see ourselves.

With Cerebral Palsy, I see myself as whole, because I choose to see myself as normal. I’m not half of something because I deal with a disability. I see myself as the same as if I were born without Cerebral Palsy.

We need to keep working on how we see ourselves. Perhaps it’s a society thing. If society didn’t constantly fill our minds with preconceived ideals; perhaps we would see ourselves as more normal.

Not to see ourselves as normal breaks our confidence and self-esteem and under-estimates our worth as being human, because everything we think and feel is half of what we should think.

Sadly, when we see ourselves as broken, we will inflict how we see ourselves on other people. When we see ourselves as broken, we will hurt ourselves by what we see and the cycle continues. Even with Cerebral Palsy I see myself as whole.

I believe it’s important. We should work at seeing ourselves as whole. I believe we should never emotionally, be a half of something.

1 Oct, 2015

8 thoughts on “Our whole selves

  1. I have spent most of my life thinking I was broken like a jigsaw puzzle with pieces missing! There are parts of my life that I missed out on, but that doesn’t mean that I’m different than anyone else.

    People put so much emphasis on being normal, which I usually think of as a setting on a washing machine. What is normal anyway? I may not have had the best childhood and made a lot of mistakes, but that doesn’t make me any less of a person. I was raised in a world where we were treated like poor white trash, so that’s what I have felt like most of my life!

    Physically I am whole, so that’s where I usually have to start. There are parts of me that I have disconnected from, like my inner child being frozen in carbonite! I have had to dissociate from much of the trauma in my life just to survive.

    The problem is that there are certain aspects of my personality that I needed occasionally, (like anger) that I wasn’t in touch with anymore. I was trying to live like a vulcan which doesn’t work well for human beings.

    My whole-self is a concept I’m getting used to since it has been such a long time.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes you’re no different to anyone else and you’re as whole as the next person. I couldn’t agree more, you’ve just had different things that you’ve had to deal with along the way.

      I personally don’t believe in normal, and given what I have to deal with, there may be people who would see me as less ‘normal,’ but the reality is that we’re as normal as we choose to be. It’s not up to anyone to comment or judge on whether we’re normal or not.

      I’m pleased that given your background Randy, you see yourself as normal because you are. Like me, you’ve had different things that you’ve had to deal with that have been a constant in your life that have pushed you to the limits.

      It’s been a battle at times and you’ve struggled in parts, but you’ve come through to tell your own tale. You’re not broken and normal.

  2. Everyone is defined and marginalized by race, sex, affliction and socioeconomic status. The effects of persistent oppression can easily make someone feel broken to the point of spiritual and social alienation.

    I think Randy’s response eloquently explains the disconnect. But the dehumanization of people because of their differences is enough to break the strongest person.

    1. Thanks Tim. I couldn’t agree more. Many years ago, I unconsciously and consciously made a decision to break the shackles that would have led to me being affected by all the things you describe in your response.

      As I referred to in my blog and as you have eloquently picked up on it yourself, we allow things to happen, because we unconsciously choose not to change anything. These issues are part of the society scenario and culture as a whole. Society is ultimately responsible and it’s society that really needs to change. Attitudes need to change.

      Individually we still have choices of course, whether we choose to follow, or choose to move away from that thinking, but moving away isn’t without its problems. I think there will always be people who belittle or make us feel broken through persistent oppression, but they cannot do it without our permission and that’s the key.

      In my own case, I have never used Cerebral Palsy as an excuse or allow my condition to break me. I am whole, I just happen to deal with Cerebral Palsy. This scenario applies to other scenarios too, whatever we have to deal with.

      We must change our perceptions on how we see ourselves.

      1. I totally agree with you Ilana. Perception is reality, and we perceive ourselves as victims way too often.

        As the parable goes; “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

        1. You’re absolutely right. Everything we think about, everything we do starts with our perceptions. Thanks Tim.

  3. I have felt like I’m not good enough because of my disability. It’s difficult not to feel like that when I constantly hear people talking about my limitations, like something is wrong with me.

    I know I am no different than anyone who is not disabled, but it’s difficult to overcome those insecurities.

    1. Thanks Maria. It’s often difficult to do but speaking from my own experience, it’s important to block your thoughts out so that other people’s thoughts don’t become your own internal dialogue.

      You’re absolutely right, you are as good as a non disabled person. The hard part is convincing ourselves we are. I gave up caring a long time; not because I didn’t want to care, but because I needed to start caring about myself more and I couldn’t do both.

      The irony is we can still care but we have to care about ourselves more. Those who care about us wouldn’t talk about our limitations as if something was wrong with us. That is my belief.

      I hope you feel better soon Maria.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Order my new book

Ilana x