Out of spite

Food for thought: We spite because we’re that way inclined and it’s what we do. Someone has done it to us, so we don’t think twice about doing it to someone else. Whether we consciously or unconsciously do something to spite, we will never get away with it. Someone who spites will always be remembered that way. Unfortunately, the way we are is the way others will remember us. I certainly wouldn’t like to be remembered that way.

25 May, 2015

6 thoughts on “Out of spite

  1. I used to be a very spiteful person who I didn’t actually like being, but it was also reinforced and rewarded by my mother!

    When you grow up with that kind of behavior being the norm, you don’t think twice about how it hurts others. It does make it very hard to keep friends if you act this way, since others aren’t going to put up with it. I have spent a very long time trying to change my mindset with minimal results to show for it.

    I have isolated myself from the rest of the world who would remember what kind of person I was. My life has become very limited in terms of being able to do the things I wanted to do. The reality is that I can’t change the things I have done but only change the things I will do in the future.

    I can see how people end up becoming so bitter in their old age because of all the things they didn’t do when they had a chance. What good does it do to live in such a small bubble, because it’s safe when you never really see the light of day? It’s not surprising that people have become so disillusioned when bad things happen to good people and the bad people seem to have the good things.

    Life definitely isn’t fair, which I have to accept to be able to move one with my life, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it!

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes you’re right, life isn’t fair and we don’t have to like it, but that’s fine too, because those not fair parts are part of life’s rich tapestry; not everything will be fair, we have to find an acceptance on those so that we can begin to change certain aspects of our life.

      It’s not your fault for emulating what you’ve clearly grown up with, but there does come a time when we must change those behaviour patterns so that we can be better people.

  2. I remembered being spiteful when growing up at home. It was derived of the pure frustration of being misunderstood all the time.

    It was my way of fighting back, even though it wasn’t the right way to deal with it, since it left me feeling worse.

    1. A lot of what you felt was frustration and anger Maria, I felt the same with what I had to deal with. I remember being angry, but was never spiteful.

      Perhaps you were angry. When we’re spiteful we go out of our way to hurt someone. From what you say here Maria you were also angry with what you had to deal with and with very little support I’m not surprised.

      Both of our lives will have turned out so differently with the emotional support.

  3. I think going through a spiteful ‘phase’ as a child is natural with sibling rivalry and jealousy.

    I can certainly remember acting like that, but when I look back I know it wasn’t the right thing to do so I guess it’s a lesson learned, albeit 40 years too late!

    1. It doesn’t matter how late the lesson as long as it’s learned, but ditto on your thoughts. I think you’re right.

      Being spiteful in childhood is parr of the course of sibling rivalry. The problem is making sure that any form of spitefulness is addressed between siblings, so that those tendencies don’t follow any of the siblings into adulthood.

      If these problems aren’t addressed by parents, that is what tends to happen.

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