Outside influences & parenting

My own experiences of being parented as a child weren’t positive, but as a parent myself, I feel I have worked hard to be better.

Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs we will ever do. There are many challenges associated with being a parent. We play a big role in our children’s lives, even before they go to school and in the early years we are their teachers, so it’s important we get the parenting thing right.

As parents, we have the ability to influence our children in positive ways. I have talked about my own childhood, and although I am more positive in my approach to my own children, it would be easier for us to parent the way our parents parented us and their parents before them.

It’s easier to settle into repeated patterns set by our parents, than it is to change them. But parenting children differently takes time, effort and understanding, time to work things through, effort to continue, and understanding where we want and need things to change.

Children must also learn how to behave in an appropriate manner and communicate well, so that they can grow into responsible and well-balanced adults. A positive approach from an early age helps them overcome any obstacles, challenges and barriers they may encounter.

Although parenting starts with us, it’s a constant battle to compete with outside influences such as school, extended families and society. As soon as children start school, parents often begin to see a difference in their child’s behaviour due to everyone else’s input. Against outside influences, it’s the parents who will have an uphill struggle.

Teachers play a pivotal role in children’s lives too, so it’s important they’re on the same page as the parent: but ultimately a child’s behaviour will lie with the parents.

When something goes awry, and others are to blame, it’s the parents who become responsible.


7 Dec, 2010

6 thoughts on “Outside influences & parenting

  1. I agree, in today’s society it is so different and more difficult to be a parent. People expect more of people and to be able to keep up and respond properly to others children’ needs, to be trained up from an early age.

    It was difficult with my child due to her having add and other learning disabilities. She wasn’t around other kids her own age, mostly adults so she didn’t learn to communicate well with others… and teachers, don’t even get me started.

    Most of Sarah’s teachers were only interested in students that made them look good, like straight A students. They didn’t have time to help a child that was struggling. I had one teacher, tell me she didn’t have time to spend with my child to help her.

    But I know there are some good one’s out there like my sister who teaches special needs children.

    1. Lisa so sorry that you got caught up in the school system like this. You are right though in what you say, there are good and bad people who work in every profession, doctors, nurses and teachers.

      I also fell foul to the system and although my teachers didn’t go out of their way to stop teaching me, they didn’t pick up on the fact that I was struggling with poor grades and left me to struggle.

      In every profession there should and needs to be more accountability.

  2. Great post! Outside influences on ones parenting are from my own experience dangerous, particularly family or even peers. While motives may be harmless the influences rarely are and can be long lasting. That desert island looks more attractive by the minute!

    1. I do agree that family and peers in particular can have an effect on family members and you are completely right about those influences, although we don’t often see them first hand, children can sometimes be taken in by them.

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