As a child growing up, I knew not to express my feelings but unfortunately that came with consequences, as I slowly learned to repress and deny what I felt. But how we eventually come through our childhood is our responsibility. Childhood can impact our adult lives, particularly in the way we communicate as adults.
The most common form of communication, although it’s not always obvious that’s what is it, is passive aggressive behaviour. Passive aggressive behaviour is indirectly brought about through a dysfunctional childhood, it’s an expression of hostility, brought about through resentment, stubborn tendencies, procrastination and by our inability to accept responsibility.
Unfortunately, anyone who uses this behaviour will follow a pattern of negative attitudes, resisting to the demands of others to follow a task given to them, either in a social setting, through personal circumstances or work situations. Although this behaviour is not specifically linked to childhood, this behaviour is more likely to replicate from childhood.
Other traits to this behaviour include our inability to analyse problems, blaming others for our misery, lacking compassion and empathy and using anger instead of communicating appropriately to get our point across. Negative self-talk is also another trait. I’m not sure how much of this we are consciously aware of.
I know that unless we begin to recognise any or all these traits, it’s not something we change. Through a better understanding of our lives and we must want to change it, consciously we can choose to do things differently. We want to have to change.