People will fail us

It doesn’t matter whether we do the right thing, it’s a fact that people will fail us. Disappointments come in many forms.

Whether it’s a family member, a friend or a best friend who make a promise they said they would keep, not doing something they said they would do, saying something intentionally to hurt us, or by not being the person they portrayed themselves to be.

Unfortunately for some of us, these problems are all too commonplace and have become an accepted part of our lives. When we’ve always been taught to do the right thing and it’s not reciprocated, we’re often left in the dark and on the receiving end.

I understand it’s not always easy for other people to deal with things on a personal level, but it doesn’t seem right to say nothing. What becomes wrong is when the other person won’t admit they’re struggling and still continue to imply things are okay, when we know they’re clearly not.

I would rather be told someone’s struggling, than them fail to say nothing without putting things right, than live with the pretence of thinking everything is okay. Unless we know for sure the reason for their absence has something to do with us, it’s not to say we won’t concern or worry ourselves over it.

Experience will often show us that it’s everything to do with who they are and what they deal with and nothing to do with us.

7 Feb, 2014

8 thoughts on “People will fail us

  1. I hate to say it, but I think my parents failed me when I was growing up.

    By being over protective of me, they didn’t allow me to experience life like I should have and by buying everything for me and not letting me take responsibility for things like cars and college, I think I was not prepared for the world like a normal person is.

    I wanted to work when I was a teenager but they wouldn’t let me. More than likely it was because I was a diabetic and they were not totally educated on the matter. Of course at that time they didn’t know as much as they do today but being over protected has it’s down falls.

    I think sometimes people fail us not realizing they have and then other times I think it’s intentional.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Yes our subconscious thoughts often get in the way of our rational thoughts. From what I know it’s more about how we feel about ourselves and what we’ve had to deal with, than a particular issue with a particular person at that time.

      That’s why and you’re right, we won’t always realise and why sometimes we lash out intentionally and in some circumstances why we choose to walk away.

  2. Yes, I learned this lesson when I was very young, which is probably why I’m so leery of depending on anyone for anything! It is truly sad when it is your parents, considering they’re supposed to be the ones you can depend on.

    It would also explain why I seemed to be drawn to people who were the same way, since they behaved the way I was used to. I’m just dealing with a lot of those old feelings, where I’m having to deal with my father who has dementia now. Even with as much as he put us through as kids, I know deep down it’s the right thing to do, to make sure he gets what he needs in his final days.

    I also have to deal with the fact that I’m sure I created that insecurity in my own daughter where I wasn’t very dependable or available when she was a child. I’m just trying very hard to be there for her now even though she’s living very far away.

    I could go on and on, but the main point I’m trying to make is that I’m trying to change things now. I’m just trying to be a decent human being, even with all that people have put me through.

    I’ve missed out on far too much dwelling on all the negatives in life!

    1. Thanks Randy. You have to do what you feel is right and no one can argue with that. If you decided to walk away from your father after all he’s put you through you would also be within your rights and no one should argue with that.

      That said, even though I know you would be within your rights, there would be others who would probably question you choosing to walk away. Unfortunately society puts pressure on us to do the right thing and if we’re not seen to ‘be doing the right thing’ people usually have something to say about it and that’s what I find unacceptable and wrong.

      I think people should be more accepting of what we choose to do. Whatever choice you made I wouldn’t judge.

  3. I have been disappointed by people who I thought were my friends, but realized they were not.

    Perhaps we fail ourselves by pretending we’re surprised when people fail us when we knew it was inevitable.

    1. Thanks Tim. Unfortunately for me I already know and have got to that stage where I know what’s unfolding before me, so there are no surprises for me, if that makes sense.

      I think your first sentence explains everything though and is probably how the majority of us find out, either through a mutual friend or perhaps through an innocent phone call.

      Either way it’s probably something we’ve all had to come to terms with at some point in our lives. It seems to be more of a reflection on what’s happening in our society today, as a whole.

  4. This was the perfect subject that has come at the right time. We just recently patched things up with my step daughter; everything was going good. Now she won’t return our calls and her not contacting us just means that she is pissed off about something again.

    You are right, people will fail us. We let them in only to get our hearts squashed all over again. This is what we deal with my step daughter, we don’t know what we did wrong. She has shut us out once again.

    1. I feel for you Maria, but from what you say it sounds as if this is very much to do with your step-daughter and not you.

      I know being caught in the thick of it can put stress on both of you, but if you know in your hearts you’ve done nothing to upset her, perhaps it’s time to just get on with things on your own and sit this one out until she comes back to sort things out.

      You cannot change what your step-daughter does of course, but you can change your approach to her, so that you’re not stressing over what’s happened.

      I have been where you are many times before. It’s not easy I know but I’m sure you’ll come through the other end much stronger.

Leave a Reply to Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Order my new book

Ilana x