I personally don’t believe there is such a thing as a perfect family. If there was, we’d all be the first in the queue to be a part of one.
As hard as we try we don’t always get the family thing right. We know when there is a fundamental breakdown of relationships because of the lack of support. In any event, the buck stops with us.
We can’t change others, we can only change the way we perceive others so that we learn to communicate with them in a way that benefits us. We know if we’re growing up in a family with the right positive support.
We see enough in our childhood to know the difference between a loving and caring family and a family that is less than. Unfortunately, the odds are that we will have picked up traits subconsciously along the way from our family. That’s a given.
How do we cope in a dysfunctional family?
Our first job is to recognise those signs so that we take away the dysfunctional traits we’ve picked up along the way. We need to work out what we can do to improve things. By getting rid of some of the emotions, tendencies or bad behaviour that we have inherited, should make us better people.
I don’t believe we need to continue to live like other family members if we choose not to. The choice is always ours. We also need to accept that whilst we make those changes, it doesn’t guarantee our family will make those changes too. In an ideal world, it would be great if certain family members would change too.
It would certainly make our lives easier. That they would want to change, but we cannot make them change if they don’t want to. They would have to decide for themselves. Dysfunctional families are as the word says, dysfunctional.
They’re real and they exist, but individually we must always try to do better.
To be cont.d/2