Putting loved ones first

Sometimes we must put ourselves out for others, even if it means coming out of our comfort zone to do it. We’re more likely to agree to put ourselves out if what we’re going to do means something to the other person.

When I look back and reflect at what my Paris trip meant to my family, I felt sad that my parents didn’t emotionally support me or my siblings. Anyone who has been in this position before may feel let down and disappointed that it never happened for them.

Daniel was already in Paris, so we made the journey to Paris to spend time with him. That was important to him and to us. The event itself is never important, it’s the fact that we go out of our way to lend emotional support and be there for the ones we love.

When we do something for someone that leaves its mark in a positive way everyone gets to feel good. In my case, I am pleased the buck has stopped with me and that my family got to have the experiences that I should have had growing up.

Unfortunately though, as is often the case, some of our new positive experiences bring back some of the old feelings that we thought we’d left behind. In a way reflection helps me understand this. There is no point holding on to things we cannot change.


29 Mar, 2014

4 thoughts on “Putting loved ones first

  1. Growing up, my parents made it a point to have family vacation every year from the time I was 6 years old. It was to the beach yearly but I’m not complaining. That’s probably why I love going to the beach so much.

    My husband and I tried to take our children on vacation yearly, but some years were harder than others money wise and we didn’t get to take them any where. By the time we got to go on cruises our children were out of school and doing their own thing.

    Now I want to take the whole family on a cruise but I doubt we’ll ever be in the position to do that, so just to take them to the beach would be nice.

    My mom was always doing things for others and it made her day to do this. It makes me feel good to do for others too. It’s uncomfortable for me not to be able to do for others.

    I guess I’m like my mom in that way. I just want people to be happy.

    1. Thanks Lisa! Like you, when my father could he took us away on annual holidays, but in my case that’s all it was. Once we were home there was no emotional support.

      Any quality time spent with our parents and siblings is important and although holidays are important too, I think the emotional support is more important. I am sure your family would welcome time with you at the beach, if a holiday is out of the question for now. As you say that’s what holidays are all about.

      I am sure you will try to make something happen as and when you can. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.

  2. Sometimes kids don’t even need a vacation. For me as a child, a day trip near home would do. As long as I knew I was loved by my mom that was enough for me.

    Ilana, your Paris trip sounds marvellieux, happy belated birthday. So glad your trip was to Paris. I’ve never been, but for some reason know that I would love it there!

    1. My Paris trip was just what the doctor ordered, although it didn’t stop me getting ill! I’m still pleased I went because I was keen to see Daniel who was already there.

      I can resonate with your feelings on childhood. Those were my feelings too and I agree. Life isn’t about holidays, fast cars or the next big thing. Life is all the things you suggest in your first paragraph. Thank you!!

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