Rationale, an understanding

11 Mar 2017

Given that everything was done for me when I was a child and I didn’t have to rationale anything, I couldn’t know that I struggled with not being able to rationale.

In my childhood, I continually struggled with bad thoughts and had no idea why I could never let those go. Looking back, I can see and understand that my issues with not being able to rationale made getting rid of any bad thoughts impossible to shift. It wasn’t that I didn’t struggle with symptoms as a child because I clearly did, but I had no understanding.

It’s only since my diagnosis and knowing what my neurological difficulties are that I have begun to understand why I still struggle with issues that create bad thoughts and impulsive tendencies.

I know that I have become more adept at understanding the way my mind works, but the issues that take more working out still leave me feeling impulsive and panicky and that I will always have to deal with.

2 Responses to “Rationale, an understanding”

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  1. Randy 11. Mar, 2017 at 2:03 pm #

    No one ever bothered to explain or even acknowledge my issues so I know the feeling. In your case it was nature, but in mine it was nurture, yet the end results were very similar.

    I never understood my parent’s rationale, since they never dealt with much of anything up to and including their own children. Obviously this lead to me trying to live my life without having a clue as to how to do it.

    So many things never made sense to me and still don’t, but that’s mostly because no one ever tried to explain them for me. We were basically thrown to the wolves and expected to survive without being shown how to do it.

    This is why I have had so many issues with my rationale so I’m pretty much going to have to figure it out on my own!

    • Ilana 11. Mar, 2017 at 2:13 pm #

      Thanks Randy. Yes, regardless of whether our parents’ rationale helped us, I still believe we all have the ability to be able to think things through for ourselves. I was born not being able to process that because of my particular brain damage, which is why I have to rely on my intuition to work things out.

      I appreciate when you say that yours was a nurture issue and that can be difficult, also. Particularly when we’re small and we look to our parents’ for guidance and support, for them to provide us with the tools we need to be able to rationale things for ourselves, eventually.

      For you that didn’t happen. But I believe you can. You have come through so many issues, as you say by your own admission and you have come through and that’s admirable. You never gave up.

      Having things handed on a plate isn’t the best scenario either, because we will fail to take responsibility for ourselves, but I believe not being equipped makes us work things out for ourself.

      That is what you’ve had to do and you’re better for it.

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