I don’t think I’d ever got over my education at that point. Emotionally I was still struggling with the fact that I felt I had failed in school. I couldn’t emotionally move on because no one else was owning up to being responsible, so I continued to carry the guilt.
I had already thrown my school reports away because it hurt to read them and that added to my guilt. It would go on to take me another 26 years to do something about it. At the age of 44 I went back to study, but this time I chose a course I had an interest in that would allow me to try to excel.
I also chose distance learning because it was something I felt I could tackle and it worked. I had tutors I could call on, but by that time I had already learned how to work from my intuition and didn’t feel I needed them. I couldn’t study full time because my concentration was poor, so I studied a little each day and that seemed to work. I was making headway for the first time. It felt good.
I have now gone on to complete three on line accredited Diploma courses and passed each course with a Distinction. I have put my success down to a culmination of being able to work from my intuition, working at my own pace and not putting myself under too much pressure. All three courses needed to be completed within 2 years.
Because I had grown in confidence and had begun to understand my life a little more, I felt it was the right time for me to physically do something to change parts of my past. I couldn’t emotionally move on without it, perhaps that’s why I kept going back to thoughts around school. This was to be my first ever change.
I consider that finding out about myself and what I was dealing with and starting The CP Diary are part of my personal success.
Having finished working in the City, I then set up my own secretarial business putting my office and admin skills to good use. I did that for a couple of years and I am pleased to say it was enormously successful.