Relationships & being judged

When it comes to relationships, I believe we mustn’t feel guilty about decisions we make if it means we’re supporting our emotional wellbeing. There seems to be an element of guilt that continually ties us into our relationships. We find it hard to walk away.

We also think that we will somehow be judged by other people for coming out of those relationships, but it really doesn’t work that way. It’s better to come out, than it is to stay with someone who is abusive or is making your life difficult. It’s better to come from a broken home than to live in one.

As individuals, we are responsible for what we put out there. If we are rude or abusive, or our behaviour begins to hurt others, then that’s something we have to deal with and change. On our part, once we’ve made the decision to leave, there should be no guilt attached to our decision.

We need to be comfortable, particularly, if our decision is based upon that other person’s behaviour. For me, guilt is no reason to stay in a relationship that is harmful.

In any relationship where someone is continually being hurt, it’s not us who will be accountable. It will always be the person who caused the hurt.


25 Feb, 2012

6 thoughts on “Relationships & being judged

  1. I totally agree! I came out of my first marriage due to the abusive behavior of my spouse. He was verbally abusive and physically abusive on occasions.

    He committed suicide and I felt a little guilty at the time, but I don’t think over the past anymore.

  2. I’ve spent the majority of my life being feeling judged by my relationship with my parents and it’s only now when they’re moving on do I feel any sense of closure.

    They taught me how to judge well other people and it has taken many years for me to get beyond those feelings myself.

    I’m just hoping that I can become a better person in the future without being so judgmental.

    1. I know from my own, similar experience with my parents, how hard that can be Randy, but the good thing now is that you feel that you can have a sense of closure.

      We cannot always change the relationship with our parents, but we can certainly change how we perceive our parents and other people, without holding on to past feelings and repeating some of what we’ve known and seen, like being judged and judging others.

  3. I used to care a lot about what people think, but I too have learned to care about my immediate family. If others don’t like me or my decisions as a result it’s their problem!

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