Relationships & hidden issues

I believe relationships can sometimes reveal our own hidden issues. I have never consciously thought about it that way, but it makes complete sense.

Have you ever noticed that when you see or are in the company of someone who is annoyed, angry or on edge, a part of what you see in them is usually a reflection of a hidden issues you have? Sometimes what others say and the way they say it, may reinforce those hidden issues. It’s easy, therefore to see why we would be attracted to some people and not to others and why some relationships are more comfortable than others.

We live with insecurities, whether we’re consciously aware of what our insecurities are. It’s particularly true if we have a history that spans years with that person. I believe it’s important for us to study our responses to conversations with others, just as much as it is for others to study their responses to conversations with us. That way we will continue to make decisions on where we want to go with those relationships.

Having worked on this basis for many years, it has been easy for me to see which relationships have worked and which haven’t. There will always be some resistance to change by working in this way, but being able to change the outcome is well worth the effort in the longer term.

Of course change is difficult. It becomes a new outcome for all of us and that in itself can be a challenge, but my thought is that change has to be good if it brings about a more peaceful outcome.


4 Apr, 2012

2 thoughts on “Relationships & hidden issues

  1. I agree with you. I see why opposites attract… but some relationships that are good to start with end up failures due to lack of respect on one or both peoples part.

    I tend to get along with most people.

    1. Relationships fail for many reasons. We all come into relationships with hidden issues that often haven’t been addressed that we’ve probably lived with since childhood. I don’t believe any of us live our lives free of such baggage.

      I believe that unless these are addressed this can contribute to the breakdown of many relationships and the respect that you speak of in your comment.

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