“True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.”- Mignon McLauglin.
In other words, remorse is when we do something that is calculated, something that we know isn’t right, when we do something intentionally, knowing it’s going to hurt someone or bring someone down.
Unless someone is mentally ill and they don’t know they are, we have probably all felt remorse. Remorse, a deep regret or guilt for something we’ve done, also remorse over something we’re struggling to come to terms with.
Remorse will cement us into negative feelings and memories that can hurt us, or the person we hurt. It is important we think about the gravity of those we hurt. Remorse can also be a psychological downer, because it makes us aware of what we should have done, perhaps done sooner, better and with compassion.
True remorse is difficult to gage because unless someone is genuinely sorry for what they’ve done, you will never know whether they feel remorse. Getting to know the person behind the personality helps.
I felt remorse because I didn’t know about my cerebral palsy and because it took too long to find out. I felt remorse for failing in school thinking I was stupid, others thinking it was just me and not looking at my disability and thinking I should have done better.
I also felt remorse because for a large period of my life, because mentally I didn’t understand what was wrong, remorse for others ignoring the way I presented and making me the scapegoat for many of their issues and blaming myself.