When I think about my experiences, I still find it hard to believe ‘my story’ was my life; it feels too raw. It happened over a period of years, but those years could have rolled into yesterday, that is how raw it feels.
Learning how to handle our feelings is challenging. Our reactions may often depend on the situation and how we feel about those involved. As a child, I would angrily explode by negatively expressing my outward feelings to those in the firing line; those who I feel should have supported me.
For me to cope, there were times when I would mentally withdraw and build a wall around myself and although it was never a conscious decision for me to retaliate, the nature of withdrawing also meant that retaliation would rear its ugly head at times. I know that my anger as a child was based on repressed and denied emotions around a disability I didn’t know I had. It’s a shame others never thought about that.
But however we get to where we are, it is important we learn to manage our emotions so they don’t become a breeding ground for irritability and blame. It’s also important we tune in to our emotions and deal with those.
However hard our experiences are, we must use the learnings of our experiences to grow and be in control of our lives.