Do you find it hard to forgive people, who have wronged you? Do you hold on to experiences that hold you back? If the answer to both of those questions is ‘yes,’ you’re dealing with resentment.
It usually comes from the feelings we get, when we feel we’ve been treated unfairly. We hold on to less than positive experiences and as we do, we begin to harbour feelings of resentment. Sadly, when that happens our problems don’t end there. The more we close ranks on our feelings and the more we hold on to negative feelings, the more they will escalate into bigger, more intense feelings of resentment.
Resentment is a form of negativity. It feeds and connects with our subconscious and has the potential to envelop our every thought, in negative ways. Holding on to resentment prevents us from seeing the world in a healthy and balanced way. Resentment also has the power to fuel anger, which if left can turn into abusive and self-destructive behaviour.
Even though resentment comes from other people’s behaviour, we own it. We close ranks on our feelings without dealing with our emotions relating to the initial problem. Part of the problem is that once we hold on to resentment, we’re slightly reluctant to let go of it, possibly because we’re fearful of repercussions from the person who directed the problem to us originally.
We’re also fearful of jeopardising the quality of the relationship we have with that person, or that’s what we believe. I believe that if you’re already holding on to resentment, the relationship or friendship isn’t worth holding on to. No one should feel slighted.
Relationships should be equal. We shouldn’t feel the need to continually work at what we have, to keep or hold on to any of our relationships. If that happens perhaps it’s time to re-assess.