Resentment comes from feeling we’ve been treated unfairly, when we find it hard to forgive those who have wronged us. When we hold on to negative experiences we will begin to harbour feelings of resentment.
The more we hold on to negative experiences, the more we close ranks on our feelings, the more those feelings will escalate into bigger, more intense feelings of resentment. But holding on to resentment prevents us from seeing our life in a healthy and balanced way. Resentment fuels anger that if left, can turn into abusive and self-destructive behaviour.
I was angry and irritated by the injustice of being kept in the dark, having to work through my mental, neurological and emotional issues on my own. When I am able to understand the person behind the deed, I am less inclined to judge.
When someone doesn’t want to know, and they struggle emotionally, as a result they will continue to struggle. But how they are may not always be down to a malicious act or a malicious thought, it may be because that person can’t cope. It doesn’t make it right, it just makes it what it is. All we need to know is they will always be accountable and responsible. It’s not for us to judge.
Where resentment is concerned, we tend to push those feelings away without thinking about or dealing with them. Perhaps it’s because we would have to confront ourselves first before confronting others and emotionally we’re not quite ready.
Maybe we’re also worried that saying something will jeopardise the relationship and we’re not keen to rock the boat, but if that’s what we’re worried about, it’s clear the relationship has already hit rocky waters, and if that is the case, then it’s time for us to re-assess.