School life

11 Oct 2016

I hated school. Perhaps, let me rephrase that I liked school but school didn’t like me. I found school difficult and isolating. I had no understanding of why I struggled, I just knew I did.

Why I struggled would only become apparent to me years later. That I struggled to learn because of neurological difficulties and rewiring and as a consequence blended into the background. I never stood out, I merely existed.

I was slow with my handwriting, slow to understand even the basics of what I was being taught. I didn’t get the school thing. My school reports told many stories, all of which were ignored by all those involved with me. There was no follow through between school and home about my reports, parents evening, or my marks.

My parents knew I struggled, but did little to change anything. My father said I would catch up. In the meantime I was constantly being picked up for a lack of substance to homework and schoolwork. I didn’t realise my lack of abilities had anything to do with my inability to learn, because of my neurological impairments.

There was no joined up thinking in my learning or in my teachers’ abilities to recognise my difficulties. In my mind I had already given up, but I was still trying to be good. Growing up I was constantly being labelled as lazy.

The irony is that I was far from lazy, I was struggling to learn and with no support, I struggled to succeed at the learning thing. Years on and my site shows a different story, that I was far from lazy.

With the right support and guidance I know I could have achieved more. I have now found a different way to learn.

4 Responses to “School life”

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  1. Tim 11. Oct, 2016 at 10:14 pm #

    I hated school too, only because mathematics blew my head out of proportion with the rest of my body. But I made it through without having to have surgery on my brain, what was left of it anyway.

    All kidding aside, I admire your determination and your ability to find a way, despite your challenges.

    • Ilana 12. Oct, 2016 at 8:33 am #

      Awww thanks Tim. Yes, my determination and ability to find a way, was not having a way through. Somewhere in me, I must have been determined not to give up on myself, even though everyone had ignored my difficulties and had given up on me.

      Talking of your school days. You come across as someone who is articulate, book and world smart; and educated. I admire your strength of character, your ability to see things the way they present and still deal with whatever you deal with positively.

      All of those things are testament to how emotionally strong you are and how important those early years are for our development and growth; even through our difficulties.

  2. Brad 14. Oct, 2016 at 5:39 pm #

    I suspect your school life would have been so much easier for you if your Cerebral Palsy was included in your education, but then again I guess your life would have been completely different and you wouldn’t be where you are now. You have proved it was school that was out of whack with you, not the other way around.

    I was lucky, school was just somewhere else, where I could have a good time; while doing just enough work to be seen to be doing just enough work!

    My school days came and went relatively uneventfully and I scraped into university and left it all behind me.

    • Ilana 14. Oct, 2016 at 5:45 pm #

      If I was to be able to make any form of headway, my school needed to know what it was I was dealing with. It’s a shame they never too the time to work things through or ask the questions my parents chose to overlook.

      I think you are right, I have proved that school was out of whack with me and not the other way round. My site and my blogs have proved that; but it didn’t make those times easy for me.

      I am sure it wouldn’t happen in today’s school scenario. Such a shame it didn’t go that way for me. Everyone deserves to have a chance to succeed through school.

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