I hated school. Okay, let me rephrase that, I liked school, but school didn’t like me. I found school difficult and isolating. I had no understanding of why I struggled, I just knew I did.
Why I struggled would only become apparent to me years later. That I struggled to learn because of neurological difficulties and rewiring from Cerebral Palsy and as a consequence blended into the background. I never stood out, I merely existed, or perhaps I did stand out because I struggled in class.
I was slow and struggled with outlines of my handwriting and still struggle today. Falling behind in school was a daily occurrence and being told to speed up was another. When the rest of the class had already got their notes down, I was continually lagging behind. I find it sad that not one of my teachers asked why I struggled or why I was so slow.
I was slow to understand even the basics of what I was being taught. I didn’t get the school thing. My school reports told many stories, all of which were ignored by all those involved with me. There was no follow through between school and home about my reports, parents evening, or my marks.
My parents knew I struggled but did little to change or help me. My father said I would catch up. In the meantime, I was constantly being picked up for a lack of substance to homework and schoolwork. I didn’t realise my lack of abilities had anything to do with my inability to learn, because of my neurological impairments.
There was no joined up thinking in my learning or in the school’s abilities to recognise my difficulties. I was a good girl in school, but in my mind I had already given up. Growing up I was considered lazy and stupid.
The irony is that I was far from lazy or stupid. I was struggling to learn and with no support, I struggled even more. Years on and my site shows a different story, that I was far from lazy.
Years on and my website shows a different story that I was far from lazy. With the right support and guidance from home and school I know I could have achieved more.
Although it would go on to take me many years, I have now found a different way to learn.