Living with self-pity is like pressing the ‘self-destruct button’, because that’s exactly what we’re doing.
When I look back I can resonate with feelings of self-pity given what I had to deal with, but I’m not sure I was ready to press the self-destruct button, but I can see how people may. Life isn’t easy, what we deal with isn’t easy and our upbringing doesn’t give us the tools, as we begin to cope less.
By the time we feel self-pity, all those scenarios have already played out. Self-pity makes us want to press the self-destruct button, because in our mind we’ve already failed. As we continue to wallow in self-pity, we will always fail to meet or look for opportunities that come our way.
In my case, my life wasn’t about me, my life was about other people and the way they wanted me to live and although I had numerous physical and emotional problems to deal with, I knew deep down that I needed to care for myself so that I could come to terms with who I was. I never gave up hope on myself.
In time, I chose to be pro-active where I could and started to care about myself, find out what I was dealing with. When we begin to care, we become more tolerant of ourselves. Both of those things are often exactly what we need.
When we learn to identify with ourselves and like what we see, we will learn to walk away from self-pity and the self-destruct button.