Sensory awareness issues

This issue has been a longstanding concern and as a consequence has been a very hard blog to write. Unbeknown to me and because I didn’t know I had sensory awareness issues as a child, or anxiety brought about through sensory awareness issues.

My earliest recollection of how this manifested itself, was when we were on holiday and the first thing mum did for me, was look in the bathroom. I had no idea why I struggled with bathrooms, or why the struggle was there, or that I even struggled with anxiety brought about through sensory impairment issues.

It sickens me to think that for years I’ve lived in ignorance around these issues and it’s also another piece of the jigsaw I’ve had to fit. I’ve also spent a lifetime being judged, in some circumstances others forgetting that I may present oddly, because to look at me you see very little wrong.

I want to look at things normally without the distortions. It becomes tiring having to explain myself all the time. We all need to have empathy, compassion and tolerance, but most of all we need to hear and have others understand what we deal with, without the judgments.

29 May, 2018

6 thoughts on “Sensory awareness issues

  1. Yes, I am sure it would have been very helpful to you if you had have known what your issues were, rather than have them pretty much ignored.

    It sounds like they were pretty glaringly obvious and yet they chose to act like nothing was wrong, which I think only makes things so much worse.

    It does become very tiring when you feel like you have to explain everything to people, when you do things differently than other people which has also been one of my many issues.

    People (like my girlfriend) so often seem to forget or fail to even comprehend that there were a lot of life skills that no one ever taught us, which is why I may end up doing things differently than others, seeing as I had to figure things out on my own.

    It would actually be fantastic if people actually took the time to try to understand and be more empathetic to others, rather than always label them as a ‘freak’ when they don’t always do things the way others normally do.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, I agree. Where you say, ‘it sounds like they were pretty glaringly obvious and yet they chose to act like nothing was wrong, which I think only makes things so much worse.’

      I see that now, and I am sure you see that, but as children we’re not capable of seeing it. We expect our parents will have our back. I feel for you too.

      Given ‘My Story’ and my experiences, it’s obvious that wasn’t the case. Sadly, it came too late for me. I got there in the end though, so that’s good.

      And I have a beautiful website that allows me to recall my experiences and get my feelings out there.

  2. Disability makes you see out when others cannot see in, but that’s no excuse for the betrayal surrounding your disability. Elements of humanity can make you sick sometimes.

    But your resilience is something to behold.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, I didn’t really see my disability or wasn’t completely conscious aware of being able to see out in that way, until I began to make myself consciously aware.

      Sadly, we tend to rely too much on our unconscious thinking to think about what is beyond our four walls. With any disability our senses react more sensitively, and that allows us to see out when others cannot see in.

      There is no excuse for any form of betrayal, least from our parents. The trust between a child and parent must never be broken.

    1. Thanks, yes Tim has captured my thoughts too, in its entirety.

      When it comes to any form of betrayal, elements of humanity can indeed make us sick.

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