Sensory Processing Disorder

10 Feb 2016

“A child with sensory issues has responses to experiences that are way out of proportion, consistently showing behaviors that can’t be dismissed.”

I was intending to put a quote on the site today, but felt the need to write about this first. The above explanation of Sensory Processing Disorder, bests describes what I deal with on a daily basis.

I have other symptoms of SPD, but this is the biggest issue I have to deal with, which is part of the Sensory Processing Disorder scenario. As the child, now the adult, I have struggled with this all my life, but never fully understood what I have come to know now.

I will write another blog shortly on the disorder, just so I have more clarity. For those of us who have it, it helps when others choose not to stand in judgment on our behaviour, but instead help us work through the feelings we get, when our responses to some of those experiences are blown up out of all proportion. We’re not neurotic, we deal with SPD.

Some of the issues to my experiences because of SPD, can make me ill if they’re not dealt with quickly, as they begin to consume my every waking thought. Unfortunately, the responses I struggle with can’t be dismissed until they’re dealt with and that makes the issue worse.

It would be easy for me to panic emotionally, as my emotions make me feel out of my depth. I may struggle to work through some of my thoughts. I just know how the disorder continues to make me feel. It scares me sometimes, because those thoughts if they’re allowed to continue, can consume my every waking thought until I get to deal with them.

It does goes some way, however, to explain why I constantly struggle to change thought patterns and have done ever since I was a child.

2 Responses to “Sensory Processing Disorder”

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  1. Randy 10. Feb, 2016 at 1:10 pm #

    Well that most certainly makes a lot of sense! It is very difficult trying to deal with things when you’re unsure of how to process what’s coming in from your senses.

    In your case, it’s from the CP and in my case, it stems from so many years of being forced to ignore my senses! Yes, I know they aren’t quite the same, but there are similarities in the end result.

    It is why I’m always second guessing myself and being unsure of how to react in certain situations. Where most people would freak out in certain situations, like dealing with a disturbed person at a grocery store, I would seem to be unaffected.

    You eventually lose the ability to read your own senses and what it is you’re going through at the time. It’s exactly why I tend to freeze at first during an odd moment, where most people wouldn’t even notice. PTSD is such a wonderful thing, as it makes you hyper vigilant 24/7 and pretty much unable to enjoy being in the moment.

    I have also experienced dissociation many times in my life, from being exposed to so many traumatic events. It’s the mind’s way of dealing with such things, but it’s not always as easy to reconnect with your own body.

    Every time it happens, you lose that much more of that connection, until you don’t feel much of anything! I only draw the comparison to make the point I can identify to a certain degree.

    People often judge you either way, whether you have too much of a reaction to an event or none at all. It’s hard enough when you don’t always know how to react to things, without people questioning why you’re behaving the way you are.

    It’s like watching Scully on the X-Files, being so upset about her mother dying, whereas I was kind of ambivalent when it happened to me. People seem to think you’re kind of a horrible person, but they didn’t go through my traumatic childhood and don’t have a clue as to what it was like!

    I have to try to remember this on a daily basis so I don’t get too angry with them.

    • Ilana 10. Feb, 2016 at 1:37 pm #

      Thanks Randy. Yes unless someone experiences another person’s experiences, they will never know what we will go through.

      I’ve known since I was a child that I had this to deal with, but the underlying issues were never addressed, so I never got the help.

      I’m not sure what’s better when dealing with sensory perceptions. Having your senses heightened so you can’t focus normally, or as you describe, dealing with disassociation, so that we don’t care and therefore don’t hold on to the feelings of being connected.

      Neither scenario is great, I feel for you too, but perhaps disassociation is easier to manage. I gave up worrying about what other people thought a long time ago. Perhaps that needs to happen and on other people’s part they must be more understanding on what you deal with.

      Our lives are for us to live. I believe it’s up to us how we choose to live, without concerning ourselves on what other people think.

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