Standing still

It’s easy to see similar circumstances to those we leave behind, but even though our new set of circumstances can seem different, they can feel very much the same. I know that I’m not back at square one; it just feels like I am. The new operation is making me feel despondent, because I’m now working through similar circumstances to the last one.

I am not discounting the progress that I’ve made, but my mood and despondency would tell you otherwise. Unless new change coping strategies are in place the way I perceive our new situation will always remains the same.

We have taken enormous strides to get to this place. Getting to this place is definitely progress, so why does it feel like I’m standing still? I’m telling myself everything’s okay. This is progress even though I am not moving forward.

Progress must have been made because:

  • Because it isn’t taking as long for me to bounce back;
  • I am beginning to see both circumstances differently and although the feelings seem the same, the situation looks slightly different;
  • I am able to regain my perspective a little quicker;
  • I’m not feeling everything’s all doom and gloom, although things still don’t feel right;
  • I’m more in control now and able to say what I feel, which I didn’t manage before;
  • I’m not living with my head in a fog as much as the last time. I’m managing to eat and am less stressed.

I’m probably standing still, but treading water; rather than moving back at least. Still working on working on things.

12 Jun, 2012

8 thoughts on “Standing still

  1. I think it will be great if you can put this in the past.

    It’s great to see that you’re dealing with it; you’re definitely making progress. Sometimes it’s easier to just give up in situations like these.

    1. Thanks Anne for your continued concern of me and my family. Yesterday was a very low day for me, but today I am feeling slightly more positive about everything.

      I think any operation is difficult, but the way we cope emotionally is key. I think that’s what we’ve been struggling with. The physical healing will come in time.

  2. That was a very interesting posting and very informative.

    I also am happy to stand firm than to fall back but do we ever really fall back? I suppose we would if we didn’t learn from previous life experiences.

    I wish the very best for your whole family through this difficult time. It sounds to me like you have a good handle on it and will come through it just fine.

    1. Thanks Brian. I think you’re right about life experiences. If we don’t learn from them we will more than likely fall back.

      I am happy that I’m at least standing still! Hopefully that will change soon.

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