As a child, I was always a people pleaser. I used to go out of my way to please everyone. Although I know looking for acceptance was the reason for this, in hindsight I can see it didn’t do me any favours.
What started off as a kind gesture on my part became a habit to everyone else, because they knew I could never say no. What’s more, it seemed contagious because it didn’t stop with one person. I wasn’t assertive enough.
But just because someone isn’t good at saying no, it doesn’t mean others should take advantage. It also doesn’t put those taking advantage in a particularly good light. I was manipulated into doing things, because I was too soft.
As soon as my attitude changed, things began to change. It’s our attitude that sets the tone. The more positive the attitude, the less likely it becomes that others will take advantage, and the more we’ll be able to stand up for ourselves. And although confidence plays its part too, a permanent change of attitude is necessary.
We need to say no and must challenge ourselves to change.
The new ‘me’ found a voice. If I choose to do something now I’ll do it, just as I choose not to do something. I call my own shots.