Sticks and stones

As a child growing up with anger issues centred around my physical and emotional issues, it was easy for others to blame me for something they did.

If like me growing up you got blamed and weren’t always believed, it’s possible that you would always continue to struggle. My mum would often recite the ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but calling names won’t harm me,’ quote at me, as if what happened wasn’t important and I had to let the issue or argument go.

Sadly, whether we’re on the receiving end of any argument, unless that argument is redressed, we will always be on the receiving end of it. Personally, I don’t believe the saying is true. To me it’s a cop-out which allows others to say what they want to say, without what they say being addressed or corrected by those who should be mediating in the first place.

If someone continues to say something for long enough about us, or continues to call us names, eventually those things will stick. The psyche works in such a way that eventually we will not only go on to believe what we’re told, but those words will eventually stick and hurt us.

From my experiences growing up where others sadly won’t back down, it is us who must deal with it.


26 Sep, 2017

4 thoughts on “Sticks and stones

  1. Since misery loves company, just bob and weave your way through insults and leave people standing awkward in their savagery.

    Then eventually those hateful words will burn their lips and idle down to a whimper; karma does that.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, you’re right about Karma. If more of us understood or tapped into Karma we would start behaving better.

      But in my own case, my issues should have been dealt with. But it’s not to say others will see it like that. Where it’s clear we’re not to blame and others are on the receiving end, they’ll probably want to wait for karma to be served for themselves; but the initial reasons always need to be addressed.

      If my symptoms have had been addressed, I would have been a different child. Even when Karma visits, people don’t always understand.

  2. Completely agree! I think most of us who visit your site have had this experience and continue to as adults.

    The term “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” I think is a huge cop out to those that continue saying mean things and don’t deal with any consequences. I’m sorry you endured what you did from your parents and family who were supposed to love you, support you and protect you.

    My mom and dad NEVER did such a thing, but my sisters and aunts sure did and it’s so painful. My parents never wanted me to use my disability as a crutch and play a victim either; so I think I can safely say they’re a bit disappointed about my whole not working thing, but understand to a point.

    They certainly don’t shun me or say mean things. They never would.

    1. Yes, if we’re being open about our childhoods I am sure most of us will have experienced this kind of behaviour. I’m not sure whether it was done in ‘our time’ or whether it still continues today.

      I would hope that families choose to behave differently. I can only go on my own experiences of course. It’s sad when it happens of course, but is a good eye opener for us to choose to do things differently with our own children and family.

      I feel for you too Bonnie. A disability is difficult in itself when we’re small. To have to deal with others’ behaviour in this way, makes things even more difficult. But you’ve come through even stronger. I like that.

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