Now that my father is no longer with me, when I continue to look back at my life to this point, my thoughts become uneasy.
I hate it even more because I didn’t get to this place through my own decisions and that’s not resting so easy. To be parents, we must be selfless. Whatever has happened in our own past, mustn’t spill into our children’s lives. They mustn’t be part of our scenario.
Decisions we make must be based on our children’s needs and not because we want our children to follow a certain path, or we want them around. My parents were very lucky I didn’t rebel, that I adjusted into the life they chose for me.
Although some of my milestones weren’t available to me through damage, there were other milestones that with the right input I might have been able to achieve. Perhaps those lost and stolen opportunities will bring me comfort in time because I know they weren’t of my own doing.
I did returning to studying and have successfully completed diploma courses. It’s clear I’m not over my father’s intentions and this is something I will have to find acceptance on. Unfortunately, the past is something we all have to find an acceptance on, in one way or another.