The issues I deal with daily, are usually the reason why I’m an early riser. I go to sleep with no thoughts, or preconceived ideas about any of the issues I might have been dealing with during that day, but I usually wake up with some of the answers in my head, on any unresolved issues.
It wasn’t the pattern I had as a child. As a child, I wouldn’t get to sleep if I had a concern or worry and although it took me a while to sleep, once I slept, I usually stayed asleep. As the adult, I have no concerns going to sleep; the problem for me is staying asleep.
I feel drained today. The stress of what we’re dealing with is beginning to show, not just for me but for my family too as we continue to try to cope with my father’s illness. It’s constantly around us and in the equation.
Add stress on to that and it makes everything else we deal with so much harder. Dealing with a terminal illness gives us the added stress, so long as that illness lasts, without us consciously even having to think about it. Subconsciously we will carry it.
I usually deal with stress by talking or writing about out, which is why The CP Diary works, but others simply won’t admit that they are stressed. Dealing with a terminal illness will always be stressful, whilst we’re a constant support and we must manage our lives too.