Getting myself off the starting block for taking the vaccine, is near to impossible. Living with Covid-19 has sent my anxiety and autism into overdrive. For every reason I tell myself I can do it, I’ve already given myself ten reasons why I can’t.
With issues outstanding around the main two vaccines, those problems are sending my autistic brain into overdrive. I want to make the decision, but I need to feel comfortable in my gut with my decision.
A normal thinking brain will ask when, not if, with an autistic brain it’s always if. I have always struggle to rationale and come to terms with the bigger things. I’m not expecting everyone to understand how this works, but I hope they will.
It’s irritating that I was never given the tools as a child to get through what I deal with around my mental illness, let alone know that I had one. As I continue to struggle in the pandemic, this time around taking the vaccine, I can’t help but think about how my fate has turned out with my mental struggles.
I am home and when I go out I use a KN95/FP2 mask, I social distance and try to avoid eye contact. Where that isn’t possible I continue to sanitise my hands.