With yet another Celebrity passing through suicide recently, I felt compelled to write about it. For us to lose someone close is difficult, but to lose someone to suicide can leave us numb and in shock.

I have been touched by someone who committed suicide and although grief is a normal response to us losing someone important or close to us, when we lose someone through suicide it makes the bereavement process slightly more complex and complicated. When someone chooses to die through suicide, they have already convinced themselves, this life isn’t for them.

Although it’s not always easy to understand the concept of suicide, or why someone would choose to take their own life, mental illness makes it more understandable, but doesn’t always make it easy when it happens, because we’re never quite prepared for it. I think it’s the not being prepared that makes our loss even harder. The disbelief, the shock, the unanswered questions all add to our frustrations of dealing with a suicide.

But perhaps there’s different way to look at it. I believe there is. When someone chooses to end their life, it’s not a sudden decision. It’s also not a decision taken lightly. It’s usually a decision made out of desperation, a lack of their ability to cope, that nothing is working. It’s the end of the road, a form of desperation, a decision that’s taken months, then it just happens. I don’t believe it’s a selfish act, but a form of desperation. We mustn’t take it personally.

My spiritual beliefs allow me to see suicide differently. Viewed from spirit, death is not a death at all. Safe to say, anyone who commits suicide does not rot in hell, or ceases to exist, as we are led to believe. That simply isn’t true. I also don’t believe it’s helpful that we hear of use the terms, ‘killed himself’ and ‘or took her own life.’

Because it’s not an accurate description of what happens when someone takes their own life. That is what the world would have us believe and think, what culture and religions believe. More accurate terms would be ‘extinguished her physical body,’ or ‘ended his earth-experience,’ because that is what they both are.

I also don’t believe that anyone who ends their own life, rots in hell. There is no such place as hell. Fear-based religions teach us that suicide is a ticket to eternal hell, but evidence suggests that no such place exists. Even those who extinguish their physical body, can enter the light after passing. The spirit world doesn’t judge.

Evidence also suggests otherwise, through spiritual teachings, mediums and near-death experiences. That sadly, religious teachings don’t take account of the holistic factors that affect the brain after death and what happens to the soul on its passing.

The soul will and can never be extinguished and will always evolve, whether we commit suicide or not and which is why there should be no stigma attached to anyone’s decision to end their life.

My blog today is dedicated to all those affected by the loss of a loved one to suicide.

12 Jul, 2017

6 thoughts on “Suicide

  1. You amaze me once again, with your understanding that death is not a termination but a transition. No matter how we die our souls survive.

    Sadly though, we depend on backward religions that embrace fear instead of compassion, even in death; our acceptance of that is troubling.

    1. Thanks Tim. I think your last paragraph sums up your response beautifully. My only hope is that people come to understand suicide in the way that I understand it, so that they become comforted by what they know about suicide and how suicide works, rather than the act or deed itself.

      Sadly, religion will always approach something they see as going against their own beliefs, but perhaps that in society needs to change.

      We’re also too quick to judge. Those people are ostracized through burial, as are their families. We mustn’t judge, but must come to understand. That’s all that is needed here.

      I hope my blog on ‘Suicide’ bridges that gap and helps those left behind understand their loved ones’ choices. They survived.

  2. I have been touched by suicide again, 3 days ago actually. The first time was my ex-husband and father to my daughter (9 at the time, now 29) and 3 days ago my cousin shot himself, the funeral is tomorrow.

    I was really mad and upset when my ex shot himself. First for leaving me to take care of Sarah with my new husband and secondly because he did this to his only child, who obviously loved him immensely. Since then I’ve found out things that would explain his actions and have a better understanding. That doesn’t make it right though.

    Things need to make sense to me for me to accept them. Like PC’s I don’t grasp the concept or the why’s easily. Sometimes we don’t know why and that’s hard to accept. I don’t have any information on my cousin to understand why, but I’m sure I’ll find out soon.

    That side of my family are very, very close and we share the love our grandparents had for all of us. The after life, I’ve been one of the one’s that have been taught that if you commit suicide, you go to hell. In some ways I believe this, but I think there are exceptions.

    Sometimes people are so lost and numb that they don’t know what’s going on. I’ve been there too, just this past year after my heart attack. I had it totally planned out, but hope and the love for my family kept me from proceeding with my plan. My brain chemicals were off terribly and I was really numb.

    I now have a better understanding. I will miss my cousin, but know I’ll see him again and my daughter will see her father again.

    1. I believe you will too Lisa. It’s sad to hear about anyone’s suicide and so sorry to hear about your cousin too. My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope today’s blog helps to understand the ‘suicide’ concept in more detail.

      It’s never easy for anyone choosing to commit suicide to make that decision, or for their loved ones who do struggle once they’re gone. But it’s important we understand why, so we choose not to judge. With more love and support emotionally, it would be lovely to think that they would cope more and choose not to make that decision.

      Sadly, society and certain institutions don’t help. There’s often little acceptance or tolerance around both, particularly when people choose to opt out of their own cultures and don’t conform. There definitely needs to be more tolerance.

      I also believe we must be more open and transparent. Achieving both wouldn’t make us feel so alone.

  3. When I was going through it, it was like my mind took over my body. I would have these thoughts about ending everything. It wouldn’t take long and my family would be better off without me.

    I felt like my quality of life was gone. I rarely had the strength to get up from my chair. My husband had to basically do everything for me. I had never been in that situation before. I couldn’t even take care of our son.

    I finally figured out that it was just going to take time. I had to let others help me. My husband helped a lot by getting me out of the house. He took me to the grocery store with him, took me out to eat and to therapy.

    I started wanting to live and the thoughts soon went away. Today I’m handling everything better. I’m in a better state of mind.

    1. Thank Lisa. I get you. I’m not here to judge, just to say that I understand. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can get back up again.

      But sadly, not everyone does. I’m glad you have and that you’re here to tell the tale. To show others, they’re not alone.

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