Taking a step back

Sometimes I need to take a step back so that I come up for air every now and again, to look at where I’m at and what I’m dealing with. It’s so important.

Although my blogs show a more confident version of me, my insecurities from childhood will re-surface every now and again. Sadly, stress isn’t always obvious.

It’s the feeling you have when you’re getting hot under the collar, where everything and everyone’s coming at you and you’re not sure which way to turn; that’s when you know you’re dealing with stressful situations and stress.

That’s when we need to take a step back, take stock on what’s going on around us, so that we get to decide how we get to deal with our problems. I stand back, then use reflection as a tool, to help me decide which way I need to go.

6 Sep, 2017

6 thoughts on “Taking a step back

  1. Yes, I find myself in the same situation. Stress can be so distracting.

    Sometimes I catch myself ‘checking out’ too much because I’m dwelling, trying to figure out the problem (s) where my children are needing my attention at that moment; so I have to snap back into reality to tend to their needs.

    Then I find myself checking out again. It’s like being stuck in a mental asylum.

    1. Thanks Bonnie. Yes stress isn’t easy even more so when we have more than one thing we’re stressing over.

      I find that standing back on myself helps me focus more on what I need to do than I just go back in, to deal with what needs to be dealt with.

  2. Yes, this is definitely what I need to do, seeing as I got the overwhelming feeling that my life is going to continue being the same way for the rest of it and it was a disturbing thought.

    My friend keeps trying to point out that I don’t have to continue living this way, dealing with the same person who makes my life miserable, if I really don’t want to.

    What he fails to realize is that this option is totally foreign to me, since I never really had options as a kid like that and we were made to believe that we were just supposed to take the pain. If you have lived a certain way for most of your life, even if it was unhealthy and toxic, there is actually more fear trying to imagine anything different.

    Now is actually the time I need to look at this, so I don’t have to continue living this way. It’s so very difficult trying to live with someone who doesn’t communicate very well and chooses to emasculate me, just about every chance that she gets.

    My mother used to do very similar things when I wasn’t able to make her happy, which was about 90% of the time. She expected me to always be there to be her emotional Teddy bear and punished me severely with emotional abuse and neglect, whichever came first at the time.

    She actually tried making me feel guilty for doing something for myself, to the point where I actually become physically ill for even contemplating it. Seriously, what kind of parent does this to their own child? These have become what I call hardwired issues in my mind that I’m having to work on removing manually, or at least that’s what it feels like.

    If they were able to fry that specific section of my brain with ECT, I would probably agree to it without hesitation, considering how difficult it has made my life. Kind of hard to enjoy living when you always have that voice in the back of your mind telling you that you don’t deserve it and you’re such a bad boy.

    I’m sure this is why I have ended up time after time in the same type of relationships, but just with different women. Right at this point if I end up being single again, I will remain a confirmed bachelor, so that I can finally focus on my own life for a change, instead of making the same mistakes again and again.

    1. I understand you ‘live what you know’ Randy. I lived what I knew for as long as I can remember, but I can’t help but think your friend has a point.

      Of course going into something different can be quite daunting but to live a life where someone is literally making our lives miserable, isn’t helping us build a new life and change what is, to what could be.

      Although fear sadly holds us to something we know is familiar, in the longer term, it makes it all the harder for us to move away and on to something new, but living with stress compounds the issue even more.

      I have had to work through, finding out and continuing to find out things about myself for the first time and the transition for that hasn’t always been easy; but it does bring us to a better emotional place and that has to be a good thing.

      Stress will sadly compound where we are if we’re having to deal with people, who aren’t acting as a support for us. Perhaps in time Randy, you will have the courage to make a different decision on where you want to be.

      Your friend only wants what is best for you, of course. Perhaps taking that step back I talk about, will show you the way forward, because you’ll be seeing your life from a different view point.

  3. I often take steps back to understand the seasons and to mute the noise for a few days. It’s like reaching out with my soul to be aligned with the universe; to be naked and absolutely still.

    Hopefully, I will emerge refreshed and less afraid.

    1. Thanks Tim. I tend to work on the same page as you. I believe that unless we align ourselves with the Universe, we will always struggle to comprehend certain aspects of our life.

      Even with little understanding of what that means, or how we’re supposed to communicate with the universe, it’s important to periodically take a step back, so that we can evaluate our circumstances and either bring closure or if not closure, find a way through.

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