When I look back at my childhood it’s not difficult to see why I was angry. With no choices, and having played no part in my decisions, and living with a disability I didn’t know I had, I went on to live with guilt for many years.
No one should feel they are to blame if they’re not. The art of self-compassion isn’t easy. Where we can extend compassion to ourselves in times when we’re emotionally struggling, we have self-compassion. Without it, it would be easy to continue to apportion blame on ourselves for our past.
By being kinder to yourself, being mindful and responsive to your thoughts around your experiences without beating yourself up, every time those thoughts come into your mind, you learn self-compassion.
If we’re genuinely not to blame, what we feel genuinely needs to be redirected elsewhere. The onus shouldn’t be on us. We must own what’s ours and relinquish blame. If we are to blame, we need to understand.
Whether our mistakes lie with us, or with someone else, it is important we let go of the baggage and this is where self-compassion comes in.