The art of surrender

I tend to deal with the things I have control over. The things I have little to no control over, I let go of those things; but I’ve not always done it that way.

As a child I held on to everything, primarily because I lived with guilt and that guilt had no where to go. But the control we have is rooted in fear. We worry that without control we will struggle to function, because it’s the control that keeps us on track. We worry if we deviate.

Control keeps us attached to a specific outcome, which we’re not always happy to move on from. The outcome is something we’re comfortable with, rather than have to deal with and work through change. We know what we know, why would we upset the apple cart? But the reality is that the more we put our trust in the things we can control, the less we will manage our lives.

The universe expects us to work in accordance with its rules around our circumstances, but we don’t always need to be in control. Sadly, we can’t always be in control of our issues or circumstances, but we can learn to manage those. Personally, I believe that things happen for a reason that if an opportunity comes knocking, it’s there for us to work through whether we have control or not.

Not having control doesn’t limit our ability to manage or bring our issues or circumstance to their rightful conclusion. But it’s the act of needing to have control that continues to create the stress as long as we let it. When we believe the universe micromanages the overall outcomes, we surrender to a higher force and let go.

We need to stop emotionally fighting ourselves, having to have control all the time and for the things we can’t control, we need to have faith, to let the natural order of things occur as they’re meant to.


30 Jul, 2018

4 thoughts on “The art of surrender

  1. Surrender wasn’t a good word in the world I grew up in, but like the expression in AA goes, ‘surrender to win’ is the better option.

    I spent most of my life feeling like I didn’t have any control after a childhood of being forced to surrender by an endless barrage of brainwashing techniques that finally broke my spirit and very nearly destroyed my soul.

    Nobody attempted to explain the difference between things that I can change and the things I can’t, so I always felt like I couldn’t change anything and had to accept whatever came along.

    The reality is that I don’t have to accept things the way they are, there are things I can change, like my living situation, which desperately needs to change.

    I’m praying that I can figure out the solution to this dilemma as I have better options out in the real world.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, you’ve continually said you’re not happy and that things need to change; you’re the only one who can change them.

      It’s taken me too many years to change my own circumstances around what I’ve had to deal with, so I know how you feel. When you and I were growing up, being ‘seen and not heard’ was often the style of parents’ parenting.

      As you say there are things you can change, and you don’t have to accept things the way they are, but to do all of that, you must let go.

  2. I’m in control of how I maneuver through what I’m not in control of. So I surrender to my instincts, of which I trust with my life.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, surrendering to our instincts is a good way to bring understanding back into the equation and that helps us take back control.

      Being mindful is also another way. Being aware of what is going on around us, or using our past experiences to bring clarity into our present, also helps.

      I tend to work with my instincts for everything. That way whether I have control or not, I feel more in control.

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