Even if I had known about my diagnosis at 2, my circumstances would have had to change for my experiences around a disability I didn’t know I had to change.
My team of specialists had already pointed out my potential learning difficulties. They had concerns and I slipped through the net. They needed to make sure I was getting the help. They needed to follow through. It should have happened, it didn’t.
I had a diagnosis, but their job was to follow through on all their concerns. A diagnosis doesn’t highlight your symptoms. My specialists will not have known about those, but a different specialist would have been able to diagnose my autism. Instead, it was ignored, how do you reconcile it?
I am irritated, but there is no point in dwelling, dwelling would leave me in a very dark place. For me it’s thinking others only ever had my best interest and then after 46 years, finding out they didn’t. That is hard to reconcile.
It is important I use what I know to continue to move forward and not dwell so much on what’s happened. It’s hard to know, accept and reconcile that those close to you should have had your back and didn’t.
I’m not sure how you reconcile, I don’t think you do, you just find somewhere to put it, where you allow yourself to function in your own normal.