The confident life

Looking back at my life, particularly my upbringing, I’m not sure how I would have faired at university had I been allowed to go. There is no doubt that my struggles with confidence and leaving home were very much to do with having no support or guidance in my life.

To do anything well and feel confident we definitely need stability and support. I clearly didn’t cope with leaving home, let alone go to university at my children’s age, but I could do it now. I’m pleased that both of my children have managed and are doing well for themselves at university.

For me I remember the feeling as if it were yesterday. There is no doubt in my mind I struggled emotionally to deal with even the basics. I hate that. One thing I know is that had I had the support I’m sure I’d be writing a different story now.


10 Sep, 2013

4 thoughts on “The confident life

  1. Yes, I believe what you’re saying that if you had had the support you would have a different life now. I really didn’t have that support either.

    I wasn’t encouraged to do anything so I didn’t go away to college. I really wish I had and things would be different for me also. My oldest went away and did well until a guy came into her life and she finished school too early.

    She had one semester left to get her teaching degree, but she finished with just a music degree, but she is doing well anyway. My other daughter would not have gone away to college. She was a homebody and is a dependent person. She had to have family around her all the time.

    Now she has moved away and is struggling terribly but it was her decision and it’s her life and is welcome to come back home when she wants. I have encouraged her to go to school and she has attempted school several times but just can’t get into it.

    She has disabilities and finds it very hard to study and remember things but she is determined to get a degree in something eventually. I’m so glad your children are doing well. They seem like very good kids. You have done well.

    1. Thanks Lisa. There is no point in us repeating history. I believe everyone who has support and guidance in their formative years will have the opportunities even if they don’t use or take them. The choice is always ours.

      I was determined that I was going to make a difference and that’s what I’ve done. As hard as it is, we have no choice if we want to make a difference for our children and for ourselves. That’s life.

      I’ve always believed it’s the right thing to do.

  2. I am one of those children that need to have family around to feel safe. I didn’t go away to college but did manage to go to trade school twice. Technically I have an associates degree between the two times that I did go to college on my own.

    That is an accomplishment for me, because I paid my own tuition and worked while I was in school. I feel like we all have our own accomplishments in life even though it didn’t go as we had it planned in our heads.

    At times school is wasted on people who aren’t go-getters. They go to school and go through the motions and once they graduate they really don’t do anything with their degree.

    Some people impress me as being smart beyond their studies, the intelligent people who are well put together and fair well in life even though they don’t technically have a degree.

    They are usually graduates in the school of life, my mother is one of those people. She is very intelligent in many ways, it is hard to pull the wool over her eyes.

    1. Thanks Maria. I know someone who fits the bill perfectly of being a graduate of life except that person didn’t think being a graduate of life was good enough. I happen to think it’s worth more than having a degree sometimes. Having a degree doesn’t make us worldly and it’s being worldly that helps us with confidence and with our lives.

      Although I have three diplomas now, leaving school with very little didn’t do anything for my confidence. I completely understand when you say you are one of those children who need to be around family to feel safe. That is how I felt as a child, but as the adult I have come to realise that even with family around we don’t always feel safe.

      The more confidence we have the more safe we feel. It’s what comes from within us and family don’t or can’t always give us that. From what you say about your own schooling Maria it sounds as though given your own remit you’ve actually done more than okay.

      It’s these kind of accomplishments that give us the confidence to go out and live the confident life.

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