The CP Diary is 8 today

The 17th May 2010 is when it all began. What started as an inspirational tool for me to vent, has turned into so much more. It continues to be a source of  daily strength for me. My website is a way for me to put my experiences into order, ticking a box for each experience, because that allows for clarity where I had none.

It’s a place where I can understand my experiences in their entirety, allowing myself to move into a more positive head space after years of negativity around a disability I didn’t know I had. It’s also a tool for new explorations, allowing me to continue to understand my disability as I continue to learn more about myself.

My diary allows me to write about and find acceptance on the whole ‘Cerebral Palsy’ thing, including my neurological difficulties, because that is what I struggle with the most. It is also a tool for others to understand and explore their own experiences through my experiences, which allows them to incorporate their own change.

I would like to use this opportunity to thank friends who continue to post and support me and who continue to inspire us through their experiences, in response to my blogs. Thank you to those who continue to read my blogs and for anyone new coming to the diary.

The CP Diary not only continues to be an inspiration for me, but it’s a place where we can all be ourselves, in a world that is forever changing and where we get to support one another in such uncertain times.


17 May, 2018

6 thoughts on “The CP Diary is 8 today

  1. Awesome and congratulations! Hard to believe that it’s been 8 years already. Time flies when your life is full of insanity and chaos, usually everyone else’s.

    I had tried to escape in 2011 and 2012, but things kept coming up, like my girlfriend’s father dropping dead the night before I was all set to move out, so it was like the universe was conspiring against me.

    The past 8 years have also pointed out that I may have a Dependent Personality Disorder on top of everything else that I have to deal with.

    I am just grateful that The CP Diary exists, since it seems like your daily post would often be about the issue I was dealing with at the time.

    Here’s to many more years of The CP Diary and our continued friendship.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, of course and that’s so kind. I find it difficult to believe myself it’s been 8 years! It’s rolled by in terms of the diary.

      I’m also pleased that my blogs resonate with what you deal with too. It shows that what I write is spot on and with a message in each blog that should help you cope with what you have to deal with.

      I think the hardest part to change is the first step. You absolutely know what you need to do. Not making the first step is often the one regret we have, particularly when life moves on, we get older and we could have made a change.

      In terms of the Diary, writing is only half of what I do, but I couldn’t do what I do without your support and your responding on my blogs. Thank you.

  2. You should be as proud of your achievement as we all are, even if we don’t tell you as often as we should.

    1. Thank you. Yes, the frontal lobe part of my brain is extensively damaged and deals with things like motor function, problem solving, memory, language, initiation, judgement, impulse control and social behaviour.

      As a result I sadly don’t recognise my own achievements. What I’ve done with the Diary doesn’t feel like an achievement. I would want to feel proud, but I don’t feel proud.

      I think the more feedback I get, the better I feel knowing I’m getting my blogs right and that makes me happy.

  3. Awesome eight years Ilana! Eight years of daily inspiration and information, just before we disappear into our lives.

    You’ve always made our worries less obvious.

    I just love The CP Diary!

    1. Thanks so kind Tim. I just love that and love that you love The CP Diary!

      The irony is that with part of the brain that deals with various aspects of my emotions scrambled, I have found a different way to deal with my emotions and that is what I bring to my site and my blogs.

      ‘You’ve always made our worries less obvious.’ I’ve always set out to make my own worries less obvious, so I am pleased I am able to do the same for you. My Diary has become my eyes and ears in a world that is completely emotionally cut off.

      I struggle and will always continue to struggle with anxiety because I have frontal lobe damage, where lesions can cause such a wide variety of symptoms. The Diary in effect makes my emotions less scrambled.

      It is my job now to make sure I deal with less anxiety and stress, because that makes my brain even more scrambled, if it can get any more scrambled.

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