The ties that bind

I find it sad that I was 46 before I found out I had cerebral palsy, and also that it wasn’t a freak of nature or a mistake by a midwife that caused my injury. It was a mistake by the specialist looking after my mum, leaving her too long and letting her get into distress after my twin was born.

Would my life be any different now without cerebral palsy? I’m not sure I can answer that question because that wasn’t the life I had. I seem to go through phases where I’m grieving for the loss of something that wasn’t afforded to me, as a consequence of something else that’s happened. I am tied to my condition.

While I was born with physical problems that led to emotional issues and it’s something I’ve had to come to terms with, not being able to share my thoughts with my family has been my biggest loss.

There are questions I may never have the answers for. I fear the only answers I will have are the ones in my head.


22 Oct, 2010

4 thoughts on “The ties that bind

  1. I often wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn’t had diabetes. I’m sure it would be totally different. My parents’ life would also have been different.

    I can’t really blame anybody for my condition, unless it’s from being on cow’s milk as a baby, since they have linked this to the incidence of type 1 diabetes.

    I do grieve for the normal life but then there are things I wouldn’t have like my beautiful daughter and step-daughter.

    1. You are right in some of what you say Lisa. Our lives would have been completely different had we had nothing wrong with us as kids, but I also believe that a lot of good comes from having to deal with things others don’t have to deal with.

      I know I appreciate more of what I have because of my struggles as I am sure you do too. I don’t grieve as such for my loss from what’s normal, but I do often wonder whether I would have struggled less in my formative years taking CP out of the equation. It’s still a battle to grow up. Thanks for posting.

  2. I know my life would have taken a completely different path if it weren’t for my bipolar disorder and if I were to think about that it would probably be depressing.

    Instead I am thankful for all that I have learned in my lifetime and am especially glad to be where I am today, married to a wonderful woman and living each day to the fullest.

    1. I think you have hit the nail on the head Brian. When we have something that we work through in your case Bipolar, it makes us more humbled and more determined to live our lives to its fullest.

      I appreciate the little things in life. I’m not sure I would swap my life now. I have gained so much insight and that’s priceless. Glad you’ve found your niche too.

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