The good in bad

How great it would be to grow up around people who choose to support and encourage, instead of people who interfere, and only think about themselves.

How different our lives would be, growing up with only those people in our lives for company. We must use our past to make changes in how we interact with others in the future. Where we haven’t had support, we must learn to be a support. Where we haven’t had encouragement, we must learn to be encouraging.

Where we also once had interference, we must learn not to be interfering. By its very nature we learn more from a negative past than we will from a positive one.

6 Jun, 2014

6 thoughts on “The good in bad

  1. Good post and so true. How come we seem to remember the bad more than the good?

    It would be wonderful to go back in the past so that we relearn and turn the bad stuff into good. Our past can make us or break us. If we learn bad stuff we need to turn it around so future generations don’t keep carrying it on.

    We can’t keep blaming the past for how things are today. We make our own decisions and we can decide to change things for the better if we choose. We don’t have to keep carrying the bad stuff on.

  2. Yes and no. I’m still divided on how I feel about this. I was actually listening to 80’s music on cable yesterday and they played songs I remembered.

    There were actually a few good times in my life. The good for me was that I learned how to survive but the bad was that I never learned how to live. My parents broke my spirit in so many ways that I still find it extremely difficult to enjoy being alive on many days.

    The most I ever came to want from them was at least an acknowledgement of what they did wrong, but they always blamed each other. My mother is gone and my father is lost in dementia so the chances of closure there is slim to none!

    1. Thanks Randy. Unfortunately it takes time to work through the various issues left by our parents. I understand your frustrations, because neither of your parents took responsibility for how they brought you up and now there is little scope for you to talk to them about how you feel.

      Not all of us will have closure in the way we want. If we can at least come to understand why things happen the way they do with our parents, then that will go some way for us to bring about closure. It would be nice to think that all parents will go the extra mile and admit to their children where they went wrong, but not many parents will.

      I’ve learned a lot from my own upbringing. It’s hard of course to work through the various issues we have, but at the end of the day it’s up to us to use our bad experiences and turn them into something good, so that we not only survive in life, but get to live our lives. That is my wish for you.

  3. There is good in bad. I once asked my father what possessed him to be such a good man and a great father. My father said that he vowed long ago never to abuse his family like his father did. He found a way to take good from a bad situation.

    This site promotes that very premise every day.

    1. Thanks Tim. Your father’s case has shown how we can turn something so bad into something so good. I am so pleased you were the recipient of such a good man and father.

      I don’t believe any one has to go on to emulate someone else’s bad behaviour, particularly when we’re talking abuse. Like your father vowed to change his life so that his children would fair better, I too have changed so that my children would fair better than I did.

      I constantly strive to do better and be better and am so pleased Tim that you believe my site promotes this.

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