I find it difficult to believe that I was kept in the dark for 46 years, not knowing I had cerebral palsy.
I compare my experiences to that of a TV programme I saw about a 6-year old boy who had Spastic Quadriplegia and was having his home adapted to support his needs with his parents and sister by his side. What a contrast.
Emotional stability is important at all stages of a child’s life, even more so when it comes to disability. I can’t believe I went to the hospital every year for 15 years and didn’t know why I was going. There were no discussions. Because it was the norm, I never stopped to question my life in that way.
A few days ago, whilst sifting through some medical notes, I came across a letter from a Consultant I’d been to see 3 days prior to getting married, to make sure that having a disability I didn’t know I had, wouldn’t interfere with me having children. Seeing the Specialist was a means of me being ‘signed off.’
From my memory of the consultation, the Specialist was bemused I was even there. He couldn’t understand why the question was being asked; my disability was mild. I keep having to remind myself that this was, and is very much my life.
Not only did I live in ignorance because those close to me didn’t want to deal with my disability, as far as I know questions weren’t asked to at least try to understand my disability. As my blogs show, we find answers when we make it our way to find answers.
If those close to me, had taken the time to understand my disability, including my neurological impairments, I wouldn’t have got signed off early. When we do something for our own selfish gain, there is very little to forgive.
My disability is as hidden now, as it was all those years ago. But on the back of my experiences my diary has become my platform. Through my blogs, I talk about my experiences, my disability, my life and more.