The hardest thing for me is hearing the recent truth of how I got to this place. Now 11 years into my initial cerebral palsy diagnosis, there is one last piece of the jigsaw to add, that I couldn’t have foreseen or anticipated without looking at my life in detail.
Looking into what we deal with that we don’t even know about is hard, made harder when we learn the facts behind the deeds and come out with an altogether thinking about those who were responsible for what we got to deal with growing up.
I don’t pave over the cracks there is no point. Instead, I see and understand the facts. As my story shows, it’s perfectly doable, but will never make for comfortable reading, particularly when you’re looking at 5 decades of trauma. We have to want to work through trauma.
So, as parents we have to want to make a difference for our children. I was aware of what my father thought, but I wasn’t aware of what mum thought until now, and it’s not easy. A child doesn’t ask to be born, but as parents we have to want to make a difference.
Any parent’s relationship with their child is central to life, but even more so a mum. They are predominately nurturers. If a child is supported throughout his or her early life, that child will grow up with happiness in his or her heart. As ‘my story’ shows when that doesn’t happen, mental and emotional struggles will ensue.
But parents have to want to care about themselves, before they can care about their children. As they say, we can all parent, but that doesn’t make us good parents.