The old patterns

It’s usually the old patterns brought about by past experiences that mould our personalities. For some of us, the old patterns will leave us in a worse place as we try to cope with our world and the people in it.

Others may have a clearer understanding of how their experiences can be used positively, to change how they perceive themselves and their lives. The problem with not changing some of the old patterns, means that history will go on to repeat itself through future generations.

The nature of people and the nature of families is that whatever our experiences, those experiences will play out in families, unless we stop them. It’s often difficult unless we know we’re presenting with the old patterns, not to bring those patterns into the family scenarios.

Where possible we should think about our experiences and use those as a stepping-stone, so that we give ourselves the opportunity to turn things around. Allowing myself to be drawn into a hype of more negativity, will stop me from moving forward with my life, so I choose only positivity.

I made a pact with myself many years ago that if I was to have children, my past wouldn’t be their past. It’s often very difficult to stop outside negative influences playing a part in our own family, but we must always try, or we pay the penultimate price.


4 Dec, 2012

6 thoughts on “The old patterns

  1. You’re so right. The past does repeat its self unless we stop it. We need to use the past as a leaning tool.

    That’s what I have done with my children. Showing them that they are loved no matter what is very important. Telling them that Mom and Dad will always love them is something they should hear.

    I didn’t hear it a lot because people just didn’t say it a lot when I was growing up. I’ve made it a point to tell them I love them every time I see or talk to them. With our new son I make it a point to tell him especially when he has to be disciplined.

    My first marriage was verbally abusive and unfortunately my daughter was a witness to most of it and sometimes the abused becomes the abuser. But I refused to be pulled down to that level. I have become more aggressive due to what I went through.

    I used to be a mouse, but I’ve learned to stand up for myself more. It all stems from the past. With the past we do have 20/20 vision, we can repeat it or we can learn from it.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I am sorry you had to go through your experiences and must thank you for being so candid and honest about them.

      Your response is exactly why change is needed. Patterns aren’t easy to break, whether they’re physical or emotional patterns and definitely can’t be hidden from children; if anything they’re normally played out in front of children.

      Unfortunately it’s the children that get caught up in emotional and physical abuse whether we like it or not, which it why it’s even more important for us to change our behaviour patterns.

      It’s never easy walking away from abuse, but you have managed and have turned your life around now. I’m so pleased for you Lisa.

  2. The past does play a huge role in shaping a person’s life.

    Major happenings like a death really do upset the applecart, but like most things people hopefully learn to move on. There is little choice otherwise.

    1. I think you’re right Randy, the past does shape us but not all people learn to correct their old patterns or move on.

      This is my own experience.

        1. If the people causing those situations in the first place choose not to change; those situations will always go on.

          Unfortunately my experiences are testament to that.

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