The problems with denial

It’s both sad and understandable why most of us choose to live in denial about things in our life that we need to deal with. I know that if we chose to address our issues, we would begin to change so many aspects of our personalities, of our relationships and our lives for the better.

I was very angry for many years about my problems and unfortunately I had a reputation to go with it and it showed, but being angry wasn’t my problem. The source lay with my parents, because they should have been addressing my issues; were in denial about what those issues were. It was my problem whilst I continued to behave that way.

Reasons why we stay in denial

I believe we are inclined to fit our experiences into our own positive image. This allows us to maintain our integrity and makes us feel secure about ourselves. It’s not something we consciously think about, so it tends to go unnoticed.

When the demands of our lives begin to exceed our capabilities and resources, to sort out these problems; we begin to feel the threat of being exposed. At that point we choose to stay in denial because it’s easier than addressing what we know we should be addressing and dealing with.

Denial is refusing to accept or believe and recognise that something that has happened may be true. We tend to put distance between our experiences and us, so that we can lead a normal life. Being in denial acts as a buffer and diverts our attention to other distractions that we cope and deal with, whilst the bigger issues lay dormant.

Finally, when we subconsciously live in denial, I believe we will have a hard time functioning in relationships on a more open and personal level. Being in denial also means we refuse to accept our own truth. When we refuse to accept our truth, we fail to be honest with ourselves.

The problem with that of course, is that when we fail to be honest with ourselves, we also fail to be honest with everyone else.


21 Jul, 2011

4 thoughts on “The problems with denial

  1. This is a really well presented and especially strong post about a very important topic that most of us rarely confront.

    Very thought provoking indeed.

  2. Very good post.

    I don’t think I’m in denial right now about anything, but in the past I have been, kike my illnesses. I would go along like nothing was wrong and end up crashing; or something would really get out of whack with my body.

    I’ve learned how to deal with it though and I accept things more freely now than I used to.

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