The same old story

This was on my mind this morning. I’m wondering what’s worse, the fact that I have mild Cerebral Palsy, or the fact that I had no emotional support growing up with it.

Although they both have a tendency to bother me, the lack of support saddens me the most, because I find myself going back to that thought and how different things could have been. To me being supportive means listening, with non-critical verbal communication that allows the one who needs the support, to be supported.

A parent should adapt and act as a prop, a pillar or tower to help and allow their children to grow with ease and confidence. To act as a back up, a safety net, as a guide, so that eventually they will know which way to go, but if they don’t, they’ll understand their own reasoning and will be able to make their own choices eventually.

How do we make it without a support system in place?

With some difficulty. But we must be our own support. That is what I have done. It’s not something we ever forget, it’s also not something that rests easy, because it can leave a gaping big hole, a hole that’s never filled, but we learn how to ignore it and if we’re able to change, change it for our own children.

When I look at my own children, I see a world of difference compared with my own upbringing, but that’s okay. I’m not unhappy that they’re doing better emotionally, or that they’re more successful, but it brings home to me my struggles that  I wouldn’t want them to have to have dealt with.

Parents don’t or aren’t always equipped to know how and that is why they fail, but that’s no excuse, but when parents say, we want the best for our children. I believe that part is true. The sad reality is they don’t always understand how to do their best.

8 Feb, 2011

6 thoughts on “The same old story

  1. Yes I would agree that most parents want what’s best for their children, but aren’t always able to do it. Some parents just don’t have the brain capacity or ability to take care of their children.

    I was lucky I guess. My parents did everything they could for me and more. Even though I didn’t get to participate in a lot of things due to them being over protective.

    I know you’ll get through this. You’re a strong person with a strong will. I admire you for that.

  2. I have a lot of the same feelings of my upbringing and in that respect can relate to where you are coming from.

    We have spoke of this and length and you know the distance I must keep from my family for my well being. It’s sad sometimes but what can we do, it’s the cards we’re dealt with in life.

    I just hope the future remain bright for the next generation which kind of makes up for it.

  3. It’s unfortunate that you were not supported by your parents; but look at the bright side, you are stronger for it. How you may ask? Well, firstly, you are now ensuring that your own children never feel what you felt.

    You are doing the best that you can to raise your children and the bonus is that you are now armed with the knowledge of things that you may have taken for granted before. Things that a lot of parents may take for granted without realising the effects on the child.

    You are forearmed, so your children in turn will be strengthened because of the weakness you may have endured and at the end of the day, stable, well balanced and happy children are all any parent wants.

    Have a Blessed holiday season…

    1. Thank you. Yes I am lucky because emotionally I was clued up enough to understand how to change my life so that I was able to change my children’s lives. Although a lot of people know they don’t have support, they’re not always sure how to correct that so that they go on to support their children.

      My parents never had support from their parents and so the cycle repeated itself, until now. Thank you for your support. It is nice to know the support is here now.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Order my new book

Ilana x