This was on my mind this morning. I’m wondering what’s worse, the fact that I have mild Cerebral Palsy, or the fact that I had no emotional support growing up with it.
Although they both have a tendency to bother me, the lack of support saddens me the most, because I find myself going back to that thought and how different things could have been. To me being supportive means listening, with non-critical verbal communication that allows the one who needs the support, to be supported.
A parent should adapt and act as a prop, a pillar or tower to help and allow their children to grow with ease and confidence. To act as a back up, a safety net, as a guide, so that eventually they will know which way to go, but if they don’t, they’ll understand their own reasoning and will be able to make their own choices eventually.
How do we make it without a support system in place?
With some difficulty. But we must be our own support. That is what I have done. It’s not something we ever forget, it’s also not something that rests easy, because it can leave a gaping big hole, a hole that’s never filled, but we learn how to ignore it and if we’re able to change, change it for our own children.
When I look at my own children, I see a world of difference compared with my own upbringing, but that’s okay. I’m not unhappy that they’re doing better emotionally, or that they’re more successful, but it brings home to me my struggles that I wouldn’t want them to have to have dealt with.
Parents don’t or aren’t always equipped to know how and that is why they fail, but that’s no excuse, but when parents say, we want the best for our children. I believe that part is true. The sad reality is they don’t always understand how to do their best.