I am the same underneath as everyone else, but because I deal with a disability, how I got to this place tells an altogether different story.
I behave differently because I deal with a mental and emotional disability and that impacts my relationships, how I communicate, and how others get to communicate with me.
Any disability is difficult, even more so when the disability you deal with is invisible. I don’t look disabled but I am autistic, a disability in itself.
Even as a small child, I was aware something about me was different, in addition to having a bad leg and foot. I convinced myself I was wrong because no one said anything. Using my instinct as my guide, even as a child I was already working things out.
Many years on I still feel no different about how I got here and I know this feeling will never leave. I will get through it, as I have got through other things around my disability, but will not get over it.
Too many years have gone by, with too many skeletons in the closet and too much water under the bridge, none of which I had any control over. Those were difficult times and that changes everything.