Things left unsaid

Things are left unsaid because we’re afraid to point them out; things are left unsaid because we’re unsure what we say will either be misrepresented or won’t be heard at all.

Things are left unsaid because we don’t find it easy to say what feel we have to say. We either lack the confidence; or we’re worried how what we say will be received or we’re afraid of the negative reaction. We may feel worse when we don’t say anything because what we don’t say becomes a regret that we had the chance but never took it.

So, the next time you decide to leave something unsaid, think about how you’ll feel if you never get to say what needs to be said and how much better you’ll feel when you have.

9 Aug, 2013

6 thoughts on “Things left unsaid

  1. I agree totally. There were things I didn’t say to my father before he passed, but I believe they have been resolved via a dream I had.

    My mother is now battling stage 4 breast cancer. She has beat the odds and made it 8 years so far but I don’t think she will last much longer, but nobody knows. My mother has a very strong will.

    There are things that I need to say to her but I’m afraid as you stated that she will take it the wrong way or it will hurt her feelings. I can live with out saying some of it. I just want her to know how much I love her and a few other things.

    1. Thanks Lisa. You know my advice would be that you have to say what you have to say. You’ll feel better when you say what’s on your mind.

      We don’t set out to hurt the ones we love, but sometimes we’re already hurt and it’s that hurt that needs addressing. Your mum is responsible for how you feel. It’s time to let her know your thoughts whilst you still can.

      Not to tell her how you feel will hurt you more, particularly when we have no option but to live with regret for not having said something. That has been my experience in the past which is why I now change things.

  2. The very last time I saw my son alive we had a nice chat and then I did something uncommon for the men in my family and told him that I loved him and he said ‘I love you too Dad.’

    It’s just the finest memory to be gifted with. Now I let the people in my life know how I really feel about them and how much I love them, even if they don’t love me right now.

    I try and take the high road and always find some positive to relay.

    1. Brian you’ve turned that part of your life around and that’s amazing. My mother found it hard to tell me she loved me although I know she must have. I believe it’s what we know and what we’ve seen.

      Like you I tell my children all the time. It just takes our upbringing and our childhoods to see how we need to change things with our own children.

      Although your son is no longer in your life in the physical sense, I believe he knows how you felt about him. It’s also great that you managed to say how you felt before he passed. He will have taken that with him.

      He will be around you now. Generally speaking, it’s so important to say how we feel and to say what matters. I’m so pleased that you managed that.

  3. It would be conveniently nice to visit the past and fix the things left unsaid, especially with a loved one.

    I think we express our feelings more as we get older and wiser.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes wouldn’t it be lovely to fix the past so that we can go back and say the things we didn’t get to say, or said and shouldn’t have!

      From what I know and of my own experiences I personally feel age is immaterial to expression. If we’re that way inclined we will always express ourselves, regardless of our age. Getting older doesn’t change how we express ourselves, unless we change it.

      I agree we may become more wise with age, but unless we learn to express ourselves and that comes from way back in our childhood, it’s not easy. Some of us will learn how to express ourselves and some of us won’t.

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