Time to reflect

The more I move forward with my life, the more I seem to be reflecting. I am finding it difficult to get my head around the fact that not telling me was a wilful act, and that as a consequence it has taken me 57 years to piece my disabilities together.

I have also become more reflective because I have more time on my hands. Where we may meet with success, no matter what we deal with, no matter what we work through to meet with success, the truth is not everyone is happy for our success.

Although other people’s attitudes towards us may be a result of their experiences growing up, they can choose to change their attitudes. We all choose our attitudes and whilst it’s true attitudes are enduring, attitudes can also change but first others have to want to change.

Whilst not everyone will accept responsibility, it’s not an excuse for them to blame others for how they turn out. Whilst children are not to blame for their childhood, as adults they are totally to blame if they choose not to heal and change.

Difficult to hear, but we all have a choice. We can choose to work and change, or we can choose to continue to unconsciously blame others for our lives and how we turn out.


26 Apr, 2020

6 thoughts on “Time to reflect

  1. It is difficult to wrap your head around the fact that our parents wittingly ignored our conditions and lied to us about having any issues at all, which caused us to spend most of our lives suffering needlessly.

    There has been too much time to reflect recently and I can’t say I’m thrilled about where I am in my life right now. This may have been to how I was raised, doing everything for others instead of myself. I don’t like it, but I know it will be painful to change those ways.

    It is exactly like you said we can choose to change the way things are, or we can continue to blame everyone else for how much our lives still suck.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, I also find it difficult. Not easy to comprehend when it’s a parent’s job to emotionally and mentally support us, no matter their own lives.

      That said I now have understanding and with understanding comes healing. But we can still have understanding and choose not to move on.

      Moving on is good for the soul. I doesn’t take away any wrongdoing. Wrongdoings will always be wrongdoings, other people’s responsibility will always be their responsibility, no one is off the hook.

      But reflection helps us separate our thoughts so that we can become stronger, more grounded in our resolve, which fundamentally helps us move on.

  2. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about my present reality and what brought me here. The sequences of events that I would have survived if I truly listened, it’s that simple. I will regard nothing as insignificant again.

    Well, this is the time to listen, time to reflect and I’m doing a little bit of both.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, we never think about our realities until we go into them and then when we have time on our hands, we have many thoughts that bring our realities together, some good, and some not so good.

      But then we must ask ourselves what our realities would have been like longer term, if we hadn’t have made those decisions… would be better or worse off?

      I know you’re not alone. Although I have always used reflection, I am even more reflective now through the Coronavirus process.

  3. Now is most certainly the time for reflection – individually and as a society. We have never lived through such unprecedented and uncertain times, but we will prevail.

    My fear is our reflections about compassion, responsibility and generosity will be forgotten as greed, politics and selfishness resume and the new normal quickly becomes the old normal.

    1. Thanks. Yes, certain governments and countries will potentially continue to buy into the ideologies you have mentioned around greed, selfishness and politics, but I am hoping individually and collectively, the majority won’t.

      If the virus has taught us one thing, we must become selfless in our motives and MUST start GIVING BACK to others less fortunate than ourselves and including protecting the natural world.

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