It’s not always losing a parent that brings about problems with inner peace. It’s often there, we just don’t realise it. We have to have inner peace long before we lose a parent. It can make losing a parent all the more difficult, because we’re not settled within ourselves. When I lost my mum to cancer six years ago I hadn’t got to that point where I was okay with things.
As I sat and watched my mother struggle, having achieved very little in her life up to that point, I must have subconsciously contemplated my thoughts on her illness, because a year later after she passed, I set about changing things in my life. It can take a terminal illness for us to think long and hard about ourselves; what it is we need to change to achieve in our lives.
The biggest change is letting go of the negative dialogue, the dialogue we keep going back to when we come to realise we haven’t done anything with our life and we’re just about to lose a parent. As we evolve, we should try to embrace the philosophy that things happen for a reason. My mum was that reason at that time.
My understanding is that the universe plays the biggest part in carving out those reasons and lessons. The universe also decides how honesty, integrity and good arrive in our lives. Once we understand the fundamentals of the universe we can work in tandem with it.
We often experience surprises that give us much greater rewards than we expect. We should perhaps learn to place our trust in the universe even when we’re not seeing the rewards straight away, because it’s the universe that will ultimately lead us to people or experiences that have the potential to help us bring about calm.
When we put our trust into something that gives us the answers back, whether they’re the answers we want or not we have something to work from, to aim for. Inner peace is a gradual process and needs to incorporate a unique and different approach from us. When we continue to hold on to our past using the same inner dialogue with our usual negative patterns, we will never have peace.
If you have to use the past, use it as a milestone to show yourself how far you’ve come, not as a reminder at what you haven’t achieved.