Time’s running out

I still have one or two issues centred round my Cerebral Palsy that I’ve never been able to bring closure on and unfortunately for me it’s my father’s terminal illness that continues to bring about these feelings.

Sometimes it’s not always the issue. It’s the fact that we feel we have no choice, given our lives up to that point. We all carry issues, but having a choice puts us in the driving seat so that we can either talk about our issues with the person we have an issue with, or walk away from talking about those issues and being okay with our decision.

If someone isn’t approachable we often find that our choices are made for us. I think that is what I’m struggling with and given the fact that I seem to be running out of time, I may never get the chance to talk about how I really felt about my issues.

I apologise if this blog seems similar to one I may have written already, but I feel I haven’t brought about acceptance on Cerebral Palsy, let alone closure. I know that if my father passes, the one last chance I had to discuss how I feel, will pass with him.

This is one issue I may never be able to solve. The life I’ve had to this point means I was never meant to and that’s not right. Everyone should be entitled.

3 Nov, 2012

6 thoughts on “Time’s running out

  1. I think we are entitled to know the truth about things, but for some reason fate won’t let us.

    Maybe it’s for our own good that we don’t know the truth, that the truth maybe worse than the reality.

    I hope you can sort this out some way or another and be happy with your decision.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I believe we are all entitled to know the truth about what we deal with.

      I agree with you to some extent on fate and how that plays its part, although I also believe we make our own fate. I have been fated to this life so I would never know why or what I have been dealing with for all of these years.

      It’s a cowardly act not to want to deal with anything particularly as something as important as this, but for me it just wasn’t going to happen. Now I may have no choice. I will be okay with that. It’s just very roar now.

      I will work it out.

  2. I had one issue with my mother that I never did discuss, sometimes it happens that way.

    I feel if we had discussed it she would have seen my point of view. She was always the positive supportive parent. I REALLY MISS THAT.

    You will find peace and calm soon I hope and be able to move on from this nightmare.

    1. Thanks Randy. I am sure your mother being the positive person she was would have understood. Although she’s not with you, my belief is that she will know how you feel even back then.

      Mothers are more astute than we know.

  3. Ask yourself what ‘the truth’ will really do for you. Keep in mind that truth is incredibly subjective. The human brain is constantly redefining the past. This is not a character flaw, it’s how memory actually works.

    The truth you seek is not likely to be had. As a fellow CP person I will share with you that I have no idea how I got this way because my mother flatly refuses to talk about it. Up until very recently I hadn’t even sought medical help for it.

    Every day I can be amazing and wonderful despite my past and in anticipation of a bright future. I hope that you get what you need here, but you may have to move towards happiness on your own.

    1. My life, my blogs and my spiritual beliefs are all in line with the universal law so I know what truth is. I’ve always thought like this. I’m not say I’m sure I would redefine my past, although two people with the same upbringing may remember their upbringing differently. I remember my past as if it were yesterday. My past has helped me get to this point and is the catalyst for my writing.

      I believe from what you say about your mother, you too have a right to know the truth about your CP. As a parent myself I know how important it is to emotionally support our children, because Without any emotional support we will always struggle in some way. You and I both deserve to have had that and neither of us got it.

      I know that this part of my life would have helped me find closure. It’s the way I bring closure on many a situation. Thanks for posting.

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