Being a parent, I am still trying to get my head around the fact that my disability was ignored for so long. The fact that it was ignored, and I continued to live my life without knowing anything about my disability has taken its toll.
There is no coming to terms with it, too many years passed without me knowing. As a child, just being able to put a name to how I physically presented would have helped. Knowing would have given others a reason to understand and help me.
Yes, I have a website, I have a beautiful book that for the first time brings my disability together, but those things will never replace what I was made to live through. You don’t just erase those years, because you’ve come through stronger, and because you’re more confident for knowing about yourself.
Being born in the 60’s and growing up in the 70’s also doesn’t change the facts and is no excuse. Children knew about their disability, even back then. I was in a ‘living hell’ made to ignore the very things that would have helped me understand myself and my disability.
Even with my writing, it is not something I will come to terms with. There are simply too many years to erase and today is a massive struggle.