Toxic people may not inherently be bad people, but they’re clearly not the people we would want to spend our free time with. When it comes to toxic behaviour, not all toxic people are uncaring or agonising on purpose, although I can see why we think that they are, particularly if we’re the ones on the receiving end.
Toxic people can show good intentions, but their needs and way of existing in the world, will often force our hand and can compromise our happiness. As hard as that is, we must give ourselves healthy space away from them. Toxic people aren’t aware they’re toxic and that’s because they’re consciously in denial about how toxic they really are.
They don’t live or deal with themselves in the true sense, so never equate their own behaviour. Toxic behaviour is always a reflection of how we see ourselves and that reflects how we see and deal with other people. We must see and understand how toxic we have become. To rely on unconscious patterns will keep us toxic.
We need to think about things on a conscious level, from the outside looking in. Until we understand how toxic we are, or how toxic we have become, there is nothing anyone else can do. For those of us on the receiving end, toxic behaviour isn’t something we get used to or come to accept. It’s unnerving, but is something we must learn to deal with, or get out.
But there is always room for change. Toxic people can change, but they must see that they need to change and that’s part of the problem. They don’t think they need to change.