Truth & anger

It’s amazing how the truth only ever seems to come out when we’re angry about something. It seems to happen every time.

Anger is the catalyst for expressing uncomfortable truths and emotions that are already there, bubbling under the surface. It’s often used as an excuse to say what we feel, but done in the most inappropriate of ways and at the most inappropriate of times.

When we express our thoughts through anger, it shows an unwillingness on our part, to talk or openly discuss how we feel, as opposed to saying what we feel and need to say, as part of a normal discussion. The other problem is that when we say things in anger, we intentionally set out to hurt the other person; but the reality is we only hurt ourselves more.

It’s often how we feel about ourselves that brings about the anger in us. Unfortunately, through anger we’re also more likely to hold on to a grudge and all a grudge does is entice more anger.

30 Jul, 2015

6 thoughts on “Truth & anger

  1. I guess when we are angry, we gain the courage to tell someone how we feel about them or something that they have done.

    I am not proud of this, but I tend to hold in things that bother me and they come out when I am angry. It’s because I am afraid of how the other person will react to what I want to tell him/her.

    I guess I need to say what’s on my mind before it becomes too much to bear.

    1. Thanks for be so honest Maria. I think you’re right; but we have to train ourselves to say what we feel when we need to say, rather than hold it in before it gets to the point where we can’t hold it in any longer.

      As a child all the underlying physical and emotional problems were the catalyst for my anger. I’m not proud of those times myself, but looking back I wasn’t to blame for how I was treated.

      Although no one in my family has ever accepted responsibility that they should have done things differently with me, they always put my angry behaviour down to me, not to my physical and emotional problems.

  2. Some people use emotional conversations to blame others for what is not going right in their lives.

    It’s the perfect opportunity for misery to entertain a companion. And the truth is often revealed when we regain our sanity and are no longer blinded by anger.

    1. Thanks Tim. I have also found that to be true. I honestly believe that if we dealt with things as they happened and accepted that we do have responsibility for ourselves and for other people, less people would live with and be angry. My case included.

      The problem arises when we continue to hold on to things that don’t belong to us, because we’re either not strong enough to talk about what has been done to us, or we’re not sure how what we want to say will be received by the other person.

      From my own experience, there never is a right time to say what we need to say. If something does happen to change the status quo, then that would inevitably happen, regardless of whether we chose to speak out now or spoke out at a later date.

      It’s important that we speak our own truth, whatever the cost. That is how we maintain our integrity.

  3. ‘You can’t handle the truth!’ is the expression that comes to mind when I think about it.

    Usually something said in anger is truthful, but not said in a way that comes across very nicely! I know if I’m angry I try to avoid having discussions with people, since there are times when I’m not able to bite my tongue.

    Anger was a tool that my parents showed me very well how to use, to break somebody down so they wouldn’t fight back. People often say they want to hear the truth, but quite often won’t know how to handle it!

    It takes time to learn how to tell the truth in a polite way so you don’t create such hard feelings.

    1. Yes thanks Randy, this is something I struggled with as a child, primarily because I was always angry, but you’re right the key is to tell the truth in a way that doesn’t create such hard feelings.

      Perhaps it’s not what we say, but the nature of speaking our own truth that other people can’t handle. I believe we know the truth, the other person telling us the truth isn’t wrong; we just can’t handle hearing it.

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