Trying too hard

Have you ever tried to make a situation work, then realise it never will? It’s only really when we stop trying, or walk away that we understand that is how things were meant to be. It’s would be like flogging a dead horse.

For situations to work in harmony, the universal law and all parties must work in unison. Unfortunately, when we’re the only ones pulling in a particular direction the Universal Law will always go against us.

I have had one on-going situation that has plagued me for months and as much as I have tried to make the situation work because I didn’t want to let one person down, it became obvious that the only person I was letting down was myself.

Every person I came into contact with around my initial situation, brought about new scenarios that were making me extremely frustrated. It finally became clear to me that it was time to let go.

What is it that pushes us to continue to make situations work that clearly aren’t working? The answer is simple. We’re either in denial, don’t see the bigger picture, or understand that the Universal Law will play its part, regardless of our choices.

That sometimes the things we try so hard to work at aren’t meant to be. We just don’t always understand the concept.


5 Nov, 2012

10 thoughts on “Trying too hard

  1. In my belief of Christianity, I’ve learned to let go and let God take care of the situation.

    I struggled with the adoption for so long trying to make it happen (18 months), but I let go of the situation and ‘let God handle the situation.’

    It works for me to let go and just let things happen as they should.

    1. Thanks Lisa. My mother used to say that ‘God helps those who help themselves,’ and was absolutely right.

      Even with my own spiritual beliefs I still work on my thoughts and feelings. I never give in to some higher force, because I have to take control of my life and of any decisions I make. They are for me to make.

      I do believe though that our beliefs will help us channel our thoughts on what we deal with, but from my experience it’s in line with the universal laws which always seem to be instrumental in how things work out.

      If it’s meant to be it will happen. I am a firm believer of that philosophy.

  2. I had this happen with two family members who I have given up trying to change. I know it will never happen so I have accepted them the way they are.

    I think sometimes we try too hard to please the other person at our own expense. Much easier this way than banging my head against a wall and getting frustrated.

    You have to make yourself happy first.

    1. From my own experience, when we try too hard, even if we get to where we think we want to be, inevitably we’re never really where we want to be.

      I believe you’re right Randy. Our happiness needs to come first every time.

    1. The irony of the quote you’ve used Bill is that we’ll always meet with the same results unless we take a different approach. It’s a different approach that will give us different answers.

      Most of the time we continue to behave in the same way and still expect different results.

    1. You’re right, knowing when to move or change something is so important. We tend not to, because we’re afraid of change and how we’ll cope with it.

  3. Beating a dead horse is always a good expression to use when describing my life.

    I’ve spent most of my life fighting to make things go the way that I wanted them to, without stopping to think that I was making things so very hard on myself and everyone around me.

    I’ve had so many relationships where I thought I could fix the other person when it turns out they didn’t really want to be fixed (at least by me). I even went so far as travelling across country with a woman and her two daughters to make sure they arrived safely, only to be stuck in the dreaded ‘friend’ zone after having loved her since I was 14.

    I even had a chance to have a relationship with a woman who was so beautiful, inside and out, but I couldn’t let go of my fears long enough to be with her.

    I guess I’ve always just wanted to be the ‘white knight’ who rescues the ‘damsel in distress,’ but I’m realizing I was never very good at it. I’m not sure of where I go from here other than one day at a time.

    1. One day at a time sounds good Randy.

      Please try not to be so hard on yourself. I say that with all sincerity. The scenario you paint about wanting to be the white knight rescuing a damsel in distress is what we all learn from an early age. We have visions of how our lives will work out with all the romantic notions in place in our minds, but our realities once we reach adulthood become so so different. Films paint such rosy pictures around relationships sometimes, it’s hard not to believe in happy endings.

      I think when we try so hard to fix other people, the opposite usually happens, we begin to unfix them. I honestly believe the only ones we can realistically fix are ourselves. We each have to want to put our lives right, no one can do that for us. We can suggest tools to help others, even counseling; but primarily the bucks stops with us.

      I believe that if we stop trying, situations are more likely to turn out the way we want. Sometimes we just have to be okay with things and let things happen the way they’re supposed to.

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