Understanding is important

I knew I had a bad leg and foot that was obvious because you could see a problem, but I didn’t know about my disability, I didn’t know about my learning difficulties. I also didn’t know about scoliosis, or autism.

And whilst some of us may feel as though life has let us down, it’s not good enough for us to ignore what others deal with. Trying to get into the mind of others is difficult, even more so when you deal with a disability.

Anything we deal with can be difficult. That is accepted. Dealing with a disability is even more difficult. Dealing with Autism is difficult again. But for anyone dealing with Autism, it is important others understand our awkwardness and accept that we will always have difficulties with emotional and social responsiveness.

Relationships start with our parents and siblings. Where it’s clear family lack the emotional resources, understanding and allegiance is important.

16 Jul, 2019

6 thoughts on “Understanding is important

  1. You did not let your past or your disabilities obliterate your future, which means you have an understanding about a whole lot of things.

    You’re not the kind of woman I’d take to a pity party.

    1. Thanks Tim. It’s funny, but I’ve never been drawn to ‘pity.’ I’ve seen others pity themselves and a life saying, ‘why me’ but never been drawn to it myself.

      I think you’re right I must have had an understanding about a whole lot of things. I’m not sure my awkwardness would fit even a ‘pity party.’

      I’d probably be sat in a corner all evening, waiting for someone to make conversation with me. I’ve struggled forever not understanding my struggles, until now.

  2. How well we understand others makes all the difference in our relationships.

    It wasn’t for you to work out your disabilities but for those around you to support your emotional and physical needs. To me, their lack of understanding towards you is unforgivable.

    1. You’re right, it wasn’t for me to work my own disabilities out. I did and I have come through the other end better for it.

      It wasn’t only their lack of understanding. We don’t all understand and that’s fine, but it is our willingness to at least try and want to help me that would have made my life easier. There is no getting away from what I’ve had to deal with.

      I always try to bring understanding into the equation and into my life and although I’ve come through stronger, it’s not an easy one to let go of. It still feels too raw.

      They know what they’ve done. They also know whether they should be forgiven, whether I forgive them or not.

  3. It would be fantastic if people were more understanding of our issues, but the only ones who can are those who deal with the same kind of issues.

    Nobody really mentioned or talked about my issues, other than my dad making fun of my mother’s issues which were so like mine. Needless to say I always felt ashamed of my parents and didn’t want to be anything like them, but ended up being so much like them.

    I’m sure that’s why I seem to have developed the ability to communicate and understand others with similar issues like my niece with Asperger’s.

    People act like it’s difficult. It requires a lot more patience and tolerance than most people have. It would be great if I can teach others how to do it.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, our parents are our teachers.

      We copy and play out what we see, what they give us. That’s not great, but the good part is that you recognise their negative parenting traits and you’re working hard to change those for yourself.

      When we recognise our own struggles, it becomes easier for us to recognise and have empathy towards what others deal with, which is why you’re so in tune with your niece and her Asperger’s.

      It’s not how you would have envisaged your life Randy, but where you have not had others understand your struggles, you now understand your own and others.

      That has to be a good thing. You can build your life around your gift.

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