Unsettling thoughts

I go through phases where my life makes sense, everything in my life is compartmentalised, I bring an acceptance then when I look back nothing seems to makes sense.

This is what I’ve had to deal with and usually happens when I have more stressful situations to deal with and I’m here again with the same thought process. As my unconscious thoughts continue to play out the same old experiences, some of the same feelings come back.

Other people’s news usually serve as a gentle reminder of what I’ve been through. I know we’re given what we’re given and although life isn’t to order, we have opportunities along the way to change some of those choices, perhaps not always when we’d like, but we do have a choice to change things.

I’ve changed so many things and feel as though I am a better person. I have made it through some very tough experiences, but I must get past this point of honing in on some of the old hurtful experiences.

16 Nov, 2014

6 thoughts on “Unsettling thoughts

  1. We have to just move on with our lives.

    Things happen that we have no control over and couldn’t change and can’t change now, but we can make things better in our future due to the fact that we did have these experiences.

    1. Thanks Lisa… ‘but we can make things better in our future due to the fact that we did have these experiences.’ You’re absolutely right in what you say.

      I am sure your words will resonate with people who struggle to move forward because of their very negative experiences. Wise words.

  2. You’ve made it through some very tough times and you’ve made it through some tough seasons in your life too. And the grass is not always greener from season to season, it’s just different grass. I actually think it’s a good thing that we sometimes hone in on our old experiences because it keeps us grounded; it reminds us to take a detour to avoid history repeating itself in some unsuspecting way.

    It’s quite natural to lick our wounds and think of unsettling thoughts of the past, some of those wounds aren’t completely healed anyway. Eventually, those same unsettling thoughts will somehow comfort you as you continue to move forward with your life.

    My unsettling thoughts come and go and I need to make sure they don’t consume me.

  3. Yes, I wish it was that easy to “move on” but that hasn’t been the case for me!

    There are a lot of things that happened in my life that I just forget, let alone forgive the people who did the most damage! Things like having to make arrangements for my father’s eventual passing has brought up a lot of very unpleasant feelings.

    Many things haven’t been put in their proper place so they run through my head constantly as much as I don’t want them to. I’m now sober 12 years, so I imagine it’s time to do this as unpleasant as it’s going to be!

    The hardest place is I don’t have a chance to do this with the people who were there so I know these things really happened. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to forget these things happened!

    1. Thanks Randy. I’m with you on your thoughts today. There are many things in our present that bring some of our unpleasant past experiences back.

      Unfortunately and I know from my own experiences that we’re not always in a position to say what we feel, because others aren’t in a position to or want to listen to what we have to say about what they’ve done.

      All we can do is make ourselves stronger and learn to understand our experiences, then we can let them go.

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